»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #3
»
Forgetful
| Dark Poetry #3 |
|
Forgetful |
|
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
|
Forgetful Well, you’ve finally forgotten her. Good for you. You’ve forgotten her face and her phone number, and the things she did to make you crazy, and the things she did to make you crazy about her. You don’t recall that perfect embrace, the way she would walk right up to you, right into you, to be enveloped by you. Or the warmth of that same fit when you sat huddled under a quilt watching old movies. Nor do you remember the way she would squeak when you nuzzled the back of her neck, nor the way she would murmur when you nuzzled her elsewhere. Or the way she looked in your old flannel shirt, or in blue jeans, or out of them The taste of her is lost to you, the salt of her tears, the fruit of her mouth. And thankfully, you no longer miss the sweet subtle scent of her that would get tangled and swirled into your bedclothes. _____________________________________ I'm not sure about what are "good manners" here. Feeling a little piggish, having several posts on the same screen. Please scold as needed. ~wranx |
||
| © Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
I am so glad that you have finally forgotten her cant remember a thing about her now a nice item which made me smile arthur |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thanks arthur, I am happy that you took a moment to comment. I really liked this one, myself. "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Definitely enjoyed. I love "the fruit of her mouth." And I'm not sure what you mean by "piggish" behavior. Are y' saying that you've posted multiple times in one night to the same forum? Discouraged, but not illegal -- it's more a disadvantage to you, not the website. If you mean that you're crossposting, though, that can only mean death.   She said burn ... together. |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi, thanks for responding to my poem in Open. I like this, though I suspect you have forgotten her about as well as...I have forgotten the man I can never see again. Sigh. Nice write. Sandra |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Bsquirrel, glad you liked. No, not cross posting, not posting more than a couple a week (except comments). Cata..lina..mooon, (he said smarmily) You could help me out in that regard, how bout that pizza? Hmmm...? "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
this is cool...lovely atmosphere and oh so evocative... oh courtesy - it's suggested that members post 3 poems per day max... cheers  K |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
another buried treasure with your name on it.... another smile on my face from reading it. I loved this I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement. |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'Or the way she looked in your old flannel shirt, or in blue jeans, or out of them The taste of her is lost to you, the salt of her tears, the fruit of her mouth.' Selective memory...I hold a graduate degree!  |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are the second sweetest poet.  and scold? I'm feasting...thanks yeti. |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Or the warmth of that same fit when you sat huddled under a quilt watching old movies. How incredibly clear were the memories of her and the one above especially appealed to me as that is the one I too remember most about someone I have forgotten. I sure loved this poem and the atmosphere it created as it waltzed down the page. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
As I'm beginning to read through all of these, I'm wondering if it's her, or just the memory, or just her memory... |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
It is not easy to forget someone who has been a part of one's life. I try sometimes, but it doesn't work. Maybe we aren't meant to because we are to learn from each. Nice writing M |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
..."she would walk right up to you, right in to you"...It is so hard to let go of someone who is in your very soul... Peace & Love, EA |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...I try to convince myself that some may be hard to forget but if they have already forgotten about us we better get to it...and thats hard too...James |
||
|
Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
I think "she" would love it ... if she knew how well she was forgotten. After reading through this several times, yes I just had to go back for more, I find myself smiling in wonder. Wondering ... is it at all possible that someone has or would ever place me in such a forgotten category? A most thought provoking write, this one is a keeper. Enjoyed! |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
ahhh . . . Ed truly seems like too sweet of a memory to let go of . . . beautiful and bitter xxoo |
||
|
AlostHeart Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 78Wisconsin, U.S. |
I'm glad yor over her here! There's been a few times where I can't get over a loved one. This is a good poem! ~Tori |
||
|
A. L. Becker Member
since 2002-09-06
Posts 167San Francisco, California |
i've been away so long and i was looking for a familar name. Then i saw "Wranx" down the list. "Hmmm," i thought "he was always good." So i checked this one out. Oh my! Wranx, you never disappoint. You always choose the perfect words. i love it baby! "Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' |
||
|
BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You've come a long way.... between the ache in your words~ Along the same lines, I don't think our initial inspiration ever dies, it just changes us, for better and for worse. Hugs ya, wranx~ |
||
|
Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
"and the things she did to make you crazy" this is a story well told, and jabs at familiar feelings.... |
||
|
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
back when wistful was in |
||
|
Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
haunting..aching..hrmmm...lemme shuddup.. If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
||
|
xmutexelationx Junior Member
since 2003-05-16
Posts 15AmongstTheCharredFieldsOfSnow |
Hello again Ed! It's Sara. (ignore the change of names) Anyhow.. I really liked this. It was kind of tragic to me. Then again, that is just me. It's probably just the state I'm in. But yah know.. you're naming all the things you've forgotten, therefore you haven't really forgotten...? I always have to complicate things. I can't just enjoy a beautiful poem, can I, Ed? *sigh* Well, wonderful write, once again. Take care. Sara (heh... i've always loved Brian's replies..) "Actions speak louder than words will ever. So I will show you my sincerity in the shape of my still beating heart" ~from.autumn.to.ashes~ [This message has been edited by xmutexelationx (05-17-2003 01:17 AM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
