affections under observation

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Teen Poetry #4

affections under observation

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-06-03 12:47 PM

Unleashing potent smiles,
she displayed a warmness
that made me feel
like a vulnerable ship
gravitating towards
a lighthouse

I felt flattered,
smiled awkardly,
apologised emphatically

Many thanks but no thanks
I don't really need your products

The genial host vanished
I was like a despicable locust
preying on her padi fields,
vigorously shooed out
of her shop

So it was counterfeit excitement she showed
But it was real hurt I felt

I pondered

What tourism might have turned
otherwise warm sincere people into

and got agitated
as I realised
there was no easy answer

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-06-03 09:45 AM

Wow! That's very good, very well written. A bit different than the thing that had inspired me to make the challenge, but there are many forms of counterfeit excitement and you've done a fantastic job of portraying this one. Well done! I hope many see this. Perhaps you should also post it in Open #14, I don't know. Thanks for responding to the challenge and letting me know this was here. I've never been to Teen Poetry.

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida