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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-02-06 11:57 PM


Take my eyes.
They work too well.
They have seen
too much of hell.

Take my lips
now bare of kissed.
Take them please.
They won't be missed.

Take my ears.
They only hear
the agony
of loveless tears.

Take my heart,
it's here for you.
Take my soul
now dead by truth.
I am not really here at all.
So take it, as I haunt the halls...
each dawn I search for crypt to keep,
entombed among my memories...

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
1 posted 2001-02-07 12:01 PM


This is wonderful enjoyed reading it, memories certainly etch into our soul, we need to sand out the bad ones make more room for the good  


Julie

[This message has been edited by whiskey (edited 02-07-2001).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2001-02-07 12:14 PM


This definitely matched my mood tonight! Excellent writing.  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

3 posted 2001-02-07 12:19 PM


Critiques wanted eh?

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO...you ASKED for it lady..
secondly...

GET OFF THE NET!

I just tried to call you grrrr...hope I had the right number - I left a message anywho...

is that your voice on there?

I'll get to the poem eventually..have to study it for CRITIQUE don't I...

bwahahahahaaaaaaa

K

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
4 posted 2001-02-07 12:22 PM


Yep thats how it feels...entombed with all the old hurts and misbegotten dreams...but we are all our own keepers of the crypt...and its our choice what memories we bury there...hugs to you love...I do know
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-02-07 12:29 PM


Thanks to all...and KAMLA???? just when I thought it was safe to go back on line?
Nobody calls me after ten...(they just come and smash their face against my livingroom window and scare the hell out of me...) NO ICQ?  going off line now...call if you read this!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2001-02-07 01:12 AM


K...? You sound exactly the way you should!
(I know that's a relief to you, too...)
LOL...and hugs...what a lovely present, I've got a voice to put with your words now! Thank you for the smiles tonight.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2001-02-07 01:13 AM


Well there ya go...the great voice of K...LOL...

GOOD, no GREAT to hear you dear...finally heh.

Now I will plague you for the rest of your leetle life

bwaahahahahaaaaa #2

K


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2001-02-07 01:17 AM


HEY!

YOU beat me...not allowed K...simply not allowed

HUMPH

K

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
9 posted 2001-02-07 07:23 AM


"Take my eyes.
They work too well.
They have seen
too much of hell."

yeah, me too.... if you get someone to take all of you including your heart and all that good stuff, let me know how you did it... i've been trying to give mine away for a long time... nobody seems to want it

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-02-07 09:00 AM


Take my eyes.
They work too well.
They have seen
too much of hell.

Take my lips
now bare of kissed.
Take them please.
They won't be missed.
===========================

does this mean ya dont need any more
flame proof mascara and chapstick ?
(sorry... twas too easy not to take it)  
man oh man do I love this one me twin ..
but then you already knew it ..
ya heard it in your mirror this morn..  
love ya me girlie
me

Tomorrow holds only mystery
And who's to say what might be
But in you I've found a love so strong
The sun and the moon look on in jealousy
~VH~

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
11 posted 2001-02-07 09:07 AM


Very cool writing here. I like this one a lot for some reason.
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

12 posted 2001-02-07 09:42 AM


every poem you write is so powerful, they reach deep inside of me, can't believe there is another who feels exactly like me.....great writing  
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
13 posted 2001-02-07 11:00 AM


Very sad Celeste, but very well expressed. I enjoyed the point you are making and I can see how it could be so emotionally stressing. However, I always like the way you write........ethome
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
14 posted 2001-02-07 11:53 AM


A very prowerful piece of writing here....well done  

~ Ruth
www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

15 posted 2001-02-07 01:36 PM


this title sends shivers up my spine

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



Jill
Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 62
Louisiana
16 posted 2001-02-07 01:51 PM


I LIKE.....AGREE WITH HOOT....VERY POWERFUL PIECE.
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
17 posted 2001-02-07 01:53 PM



Powerful, very well expressed!  I relate very much so, I seem to relate a lot to darker poems nowadays. Into the library this goes  

Take care,
Melissa~

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
18 posted 2001-02-07 04:52 PM


even with such simple verses - your power with words comes through. = well done!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2001-02-07 05:36 PM


wow.  Thanks to all....again. Touching my heart once again! with love to forum and many hugs! (sorry so quick...   but? that's just how today has been!)
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