Open Poetry #12 |
entombed |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Take my eyes. They work too well. They have seen too much of hell. Take my lips now bare of kissed. Take them please. They won't be missed. Take my ears. They only hear the agony of loveless tears. Take my heart, it's here for you. Take my soul now dead by truth. I am not really here at all. So take it, as I haunt the halls... each dawn I search for crypt to keep, entombed among my memories... |
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© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is wonderful enjoyed reading it, memories certainly etch into our soul, we need to sand out the bad ones make more room for the good Julie [This message has been edited by whiskey (edited 02-07-2001).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This definitely matched my mood tonight! Excellent writing. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Critiques wanted eh? WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO...you ASKED for it lady.. secondly... GET OFF THE NET! I just tried to call you grrrr...hope I had the right number - I left a message anywho... is that your voice on there? I'll get to the poem eventually..have to study it for CRITIQUE don't I... bwahahahahaaaaaaa K |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Yep thats how it feels...entombed with all the old hurts and misbegotten dreams...but we are all our own keepers of the crypt...and its our choice what memories we bury there...hugs to you love...I do know |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to all...and KAMLA???? just when I thought it was safe to go back on line? Nobody calls me after ten...(they just come and smash their face against my livingroom window and scare the hell out of me...) NO ICQ? going off line now...call if you read this! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
K...? You sound exactly the way you should! (I know that's a relief to you, too...) LOL...and hugs...what a lovely present, I've got a voice to put with your words now! Thank you for the smiles tonight. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well there ya go...the great voice of K...LOL... GOOD, no GREAT to hear you dear...finally heh. Now I will plague you for the rest of your leetle life bwaahahahahaaaaa #2 K |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
HEY! YOU beat me...not allowed K...simply not allowed HUMPH K |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"Take my eyes. They work too well. They have seen too much of hell." yeah, me too.... if you get someone to take all of you including your heart and all that good stuff, let me know how you did it... i've been trying to give mine away for a long time... nobody seems to want it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Take my eyes. They work too well. They have seen too much of hell. Take my lips now bare of kissed. Take them please. They won't be missed. =========================== does this mean ya dont need any more flame proof mascara and chapstick ? (sorry... twas too easy not to take it) man oh man do I love this one me twin .. but then you already knew it .. ya heard it in your mirror this morn.. love ya me girlie me Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Very cool writing here. I like this one a lot for some reason. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
every poem you write is so powerful, they reach deep inside of me, can't believe there is another who feels exactly like me.....great writing |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very sad Celeste, but very well expressed. I enjoyed the point you are making and I can see how it could be so emotionally stressing. However, I always like the way you write........ethome |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
A very prowerful piece of writing here....well done ~ Ruth www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this title sends shivers up my spine "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Jill Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 62Louisiana |
I LIKE.....AGREE WITH HOOT....VERY POWERFUL PIECE. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Powerful, very well expressed! I relate very much so, I seem to relate a lot to darker poems nowadays. Into the library this goes Take care, Melissa~ |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
even with such simple verses - your power with words comes through. = well done! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
wow. Thanks to all....again. Touching my heart once again! with love to forum and many hugs! (sorry so quick... but? that's just how today has been!) |
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