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Open Poetry #10
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Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

0 posted 2000-10-23 11:04 AM


Amy's Note:

Well folks this is definitely my most personal poem I've ever wrote. I hope you all enjoy the read. I trust each of you with my whole heart...so I'm not afraid to share this with all of you.

"Life"
Amy M Kennedy

I remember the little girl of yesterday…
The one who acted tough and wouldn’t let anyone near…
The one who tried to pretend she didn’t laugh, smile, or feel pain and fear
On the outside… I looked calm and strong
wanted people to think I was brave and smart…
But inside I was crying the pain nearly tore me apart…
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
The day came when we were taken away…
I knew it was for the best…
Was this God’s way of finding out my “real” strength…?
To find out if I had what it took to pass the test…
I knew that what was happening was the best for us all…
So if I was suppose to be happy
Why did it feel like my heart took the greatest fall?
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
The day had come to tell her goodbye,
My mother of birth, and even though I was sad
I held back my emotions, didn’t want her to see me cry…
So as the social worker took us away, I took one more look at her face
I looked at my surroundings, at my room, at the place that I had called “my space”
I knew it was time to let go, to look at the future and not the past…
My only wish was God I hope we get adopted really fast…
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Then came along this couple, a woman and a man…
Who asked to be our parents, I looked at my sisters it was a unanimous “yes you can!”…
The lady who I would come to call Mom wasn’t like the one from before…
I was about to be amazed at her love, didn’t know what God had in store…
For ten years, she took care of me…. Showed me what unconditional love is about…
She held me when I was scared, she was my angel on Earth…that there is no doubt!
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Well, before I knew it, those ten years had flown on by…
Never did I realize that once again I would have to say goodbye…
But on that fateful day when she was took up above…
I thought to myself you just had and lost the greatest love…
My faith was quite shook; I didn’t know what to do…
I was mad, hurt, sad, and confused…
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
But soon I realized it was time to grow up…
little kid days were long gone…
And one day while listening to the radio I heard “wind beneath my wings”
That was OUR song
And in that split second I knew it was time to snap out of this dream
But when I thought of going on without her, I just wanted to scream!
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
The pain inside was hot and searing, felt like a knife went through my heart…
How could life be so cruel to once again deal me such a sorrowful part?
To give her to me only to snatch her back…
I felt hopeless, cards were being built and stacked…
But then one day while sitting on my bed…
I felt a presence near my leg
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
I swear I heard her say my name
Since that day I haven’t been the same
She told me Amy it is going to be okay, that she was watching over me
And even though I couldn’t see her, I somehow believe…
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
I believe that there really is an angel in heaven watching over me…
Slowly but surely, the pain has begun to ease…
It hasn’t vanished or gone away, I doubt it ever will…
But knowing that she is with me, I have allowed my heart to trust again, to love and to feel
I now embrace life with all that I have, living each day…keeping it “real”.
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~










[This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 10-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Amy Kennedy - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-10-23 11:23 AM


Ah Amy...she will always be with you...does it help to know that "Wind beneath my Wings" is my daughter's song to me?

This was a huge step, sharing all of this, and I am glad you found the courage and strength to do so with your "other" family...

well done, and God Bless...


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ



Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
2 posted 2000-10-23 11:31 AM


Amy, how beautiful, and both your mothers would be, and I know are as proud of you as they can be. They are proud of your strength, proud that you have a loving heart, and proud that you are their daughter. This is a wonderful marvellous poem.
Take care
                   Marsha


Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
3 posted 2000-10-23 01:16 PM


~~~ Amy ~~~
Your Mother will always be with you, in your heart and mind. You were blessed with her love and it shaped your life, and now you are able to share that love with us......and I thank you for that, my friend....it feels so nice and warm!


Follow your dream!


Victoria
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2000-10-23 01:22 PM


Thank you for this beautiful story..heartfelt indeed..

              ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2000-10-23 01:58 PM


Oh Amy, thanks so much allowing us to share in such a beautiful and emotional journey with you.  This went straight to my heart and beyond. I too, know that “special presence” of loved one’s who have passed. I have experienced a great deal of the mystical side of life, and therefore never under-estimate the reality of what lies beyond. Take care Amy … many hugs to you for this heart-filled piece!

Best wishes,
/Kit

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2000-10-23 02:56 PM


Amy~ First, ((HUGS)) now, I really need some tissue....this made me bawl- not cry- bawl....thank you Amy, for sharing this with us.....I'm so glad you are healing.   -SEA
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-10-23 02:56 PM


Amy-girl*
You have the tears rolling down my face...this is such an open honest look into your life...and the part about your mom coming to you....I know without a doubt that she was there...she would never leave you Amy and especially when you needed her most...even in death she will always be there for you.  This took my breath away...you have much to be proud of Amy!!

Elizabeth
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Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
8 posted 2000-10-23 03:01 PM


Amy, your mom is still here with you, because nothing, not even death, can end the love people have for each other. I know she will always be there whenever you need her. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Elizabeth


You cling to your ways and leave mine to me.
Suum cuique.
~Elizabeth



BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
9 posted 2000-10-23 03:11 PM


Oh Amy, What a beautiful piece of your heart you have shared here with us.  And as sure as I'm sitting here, I'm sure she is always with you.  What a wonderful tribute to your Mom, your guardian angel.  Bonnie
Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
10 posted 2000-10-23 03:12 PM


this brought a tear up......Amy ((hug)), true love is always near....she is your lifeguard, and your angel. And there will always be things that will remain her...and keep her alive, the pain will ease....but to know how she loved you shall give you strength, and help enjoying life again.
thank you for sharing this.....

take care ....Charisma


glorybox
Junior Member
since 2000-09-17
Posts 26

11 posted 2000-10-23 03:19 PM


You gave us your heart and your soul; I speak from mine to yours: thank you for your honesty, thank you for your beautiful words, thank you for trusting us with your story.  It was personal, but now it is shared.  

Amy Robinson

Sven
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since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2000-10-23 07:16 PM





< !signature-->

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl





[This message has been edited by Sven (edited 10-23-2000).]

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
13 posted 2000-10-23 07:21 PM


Amy, this one brought tears to my eyes, too.  How beautifully written!!  You've done a great job here!!  I love it, my friend!

sp  

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
14 posted 2000-10-23 07:25 PM


Amy, this must have been hard for you to write and post. ((hugs)) Knowing you are among friends would have helped.
I always believe that the ones we love will never leave us. Your Mum will always be there, watching over you. Supporting you any way she can, when you need her most.
Take care of yourself,
Dee

StarGlow
Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 40

15 posted 2000-10-23 07:37 PM


Amy, please pass the tissues. big ((hugs)) and thank-you. Written so well.   StarGlow
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
16 posted 2000-10-23 08:10 PM


Oh, Amy.  Big hugs for you!  My mother died when I was very young, I know the pain you speak of.  Like you, I've always pictured my mother as an angel watching over me.  It brings me peace and allows me to keep smiling, laughing, loving.  

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
17 posted 2000-10-23 08:31 PM


Amy, this poem and others like it is why poetry was created. Beautiful...
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
18 posted 2000-10-23 09:13 PM


If I adressed you all by name in this note not only would it be a novel...but I would be crying even harder than I currently am. So I will just humbly say I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for your kind words. You all have touched me in a way very few have or ever will. And now I gotta go get a tissue of my own. My Mom would be very proud of all of you I think and in her words as she would say "you ALL have hearts of gold and for that will be rewarded!"

Love, Amy

"The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences"


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
19 posted 2000-10-23 09:21 PM


Amy,

This was beautiful my friend.  Remember she is always with you . . . in your heart . . . never to part.  I am so proud of you for posting this piece.  It was an honor to read.  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
20 posted 2000-10-24 07:31 AM


Lots of soft and beautiful words from your heart...thank God for angels...James
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
21 posted 2000-10-24 10:20 AM


Lonewolf--
it was an honor to write it for all of
you. thank you for your sweet words. you
make my heart smile.

James--
awww you big sweetie! you have cheered up my whole day. thanks a mil.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
22 posted 2000-10-24 11:00 AM


ENJOY THE READ!!!!!LIKED IT!!!!!!!
Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
23 posted 2000-10-24 11:34 AM


Oh sweet Amy, you have touched us all with this.  You are so deserving to find peace within and let the love settle in your heart til you are rejoined with her. You have spoken with your mouth now let the Lord heal you, wrap His arms around you as only He can.
Bless you Amy.   Marcy

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
24 posted 2000-10-24 11:44 AM


Yes, cowboys shed tears as well.  As my friend Balladeer said, this is why we have poetry.  Beautiful and I too know that she is with you.
The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA
25 posted 2000-10-24 12:12 PM


Remember dear Amy,
When you first rode a bike
Remember what fear of
Unknown was like.

Would soar like the wind
And and conquer this ride
Would you tumble to earth
And helplessly cry

But someone was holding
The bike as they ran
Until they were sure
You were thinking "I can"

Life is like this
With the Father above
One day he lets go
And watches with love

He knows you might wobble
Perhaps even go down
But know for yourself
That he's always around

Some days you will feel
You can pedal no more
Just trust that he loves you
And you'll soon again soar.

Take hold and pedal
My troubled young friend
Keep straight your path
And trust till the end



[This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (edited 10-24-2000).]

ParisGrl
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 610

26 posted 2000-10-24 02:41 PM


Amy,

God even your poetry makes me cry.  LOL  How am i supposed to live with you, if you make me cry all the time???  LOL

Touching poem baby, i know she loves it as much as i do.  but then again, i love all your poetry.

Laura

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
27 posted 2000-10-24 07:07 PM


Tears.
Tears.
Tears.
Strongly worded, powerful and poignant.  Thank you for sharing.



The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.



Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
28 posted 2000-10-24 11:32 PM


Wonderfully penned---must have been very hard for you...



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



BirdeeB
Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 106
USA
29 posted 2000-10-24 11:40 PM


wow this touched me so much, it brought tears to my eyes, In some ways i know what you went through.
I admire your strenght..
BirdeeB

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

30 posted 2000-10-24 11:52 PM


I am new here, and want to thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem. It is heartwarming and powerful. You must be truly loved. Ron
Toddles
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 396
New Orleans, Louisiana
31 posted 2000-10-25 01:13 AM


Very touching Amy, I just wanted to tell you how much reading these words meant to me, Thank you for sharing it!

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
32 posted 2000-10-25 10:09 AM


thank you so much Amy for sharing and I know there is an Angel watching over you
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
33 posted 2000-10-25 11:24 AM


once again you guys have made my
heart smile. how ya do it?? LOL. No
seriously, all your heart-felt replies
and comments have touched me very deeply.
I sincerely thank all of you for your
kindness, understanding, and love.

~amy~

p.s. stranger--thank you for that lovely
poem...you touched my heart big time!

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
34 posted 2000-11-24 08:20 PM


im sorry for this late reply but im glad that you have found it within you to share this piece and i certainly admire this courage of yours

regards

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