Open Poetry #6 |
Imprisoned By My Guilt |
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
I can't seem to find the words to say just how I feel My pain is ever growing since they put you on that hill I stop by to say I miss you almost every day I pray that God above will soon take this hurt away I can still see you lying there in a bloody heap I wish that I could close my eyes and this memory delete It haunts me every waking hour and in every wink of sleep Ever losing grip on sanity no longer mine to keep I would give most anything if I could change history Cause in my heart I know that you should be here instead of me In my cell, my private Hell locked inside my head If I hadn't had too much to drink then you would not be dead ********************************** Don't take this litterally I am not speaking from experience. It's just something that came to me Jeffrey [This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 04-14-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Sorry to darken the mood for anyone. Just thought you might enjoy. At least I hope you do. Jeffrey |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This was excellent writing m'friend, you've showed emotion in depth...perfect!!! Might I offer you a late welcome?? Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Many familiar emotions and feelings here. Past memories can be a living hell when locked away inside. Not all those who wander are lost. ~J.R.R. Tolkien |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
Actually I like it... good read. I think it takes more skill to express so vividly feelings that are not your own, than it does to express the ones you can write from first hand. "The storm rises up when the shadows descend every beat of my heart every day without end I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break till theres no more to give if thats what it takes I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed I will lay down my life if thats what you need every second I live thats the promise I make" I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =) |
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NamelessOne Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 197Biloxi MS |
wow deep stuff and the ending was a punch in the gut.well done jeffrey |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Jeff, this is great. -- And a great message to send out to people. I hope you can PUBLISH it. Teresa King www.tipsfortop.com |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
devina.....thank you for your comment..I am not worthy of such praise and I feel very welcome here at "home" Eagle One....How True WhiteNite...I thank you much Thank you NamelessOne..as I said I'm not worthy netswan...I agree that this is a strong message, but i'm not so sure that it is worthy of being published....but I certainly appreciate the compliment Jeffrey |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh My - the title alone sucked me into this once. Excellent portrayal of guilt here. Powerful words. Michael |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Micheal, That is truly a compliment coming from you. Thank you for making my day. Jeffrey [This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 04-14-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Jeffery...this is truly a wonderful piece of writing...nicely done |
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Friday New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 8Vaasa, Finland |
Not written from experience.... well.. You did well without experience aswell... You are definitely a real poet... |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Excellent work, Jeffrey - you definitely have a gift! It moves me to respond as you did to one of my poems. I think you said something like, "don't take this the wrong way - but, I love you, man!" Well, back at ya! Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Thank you all for your compliments. They are greatly appreciated. I cannot tell you how it feels to finally feel like someone really cares enough to read my thoughts. I'd just like to say " I LOVE YOU ALL" Thanks for making this place feel like HOME Jeffrey |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is an excellent poem about a subject that has touched each and every one of us at least once. Keep up the good work. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I'm not sure that "enjoy" is a word I would use but certainly gives the feeling of anguish but I wonder if that is how someone feels when they are in that position...sorry, too close to home so made me think.. HUGS |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Strong writing about a very sad subject. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Love Bug, It has touched way too many lives. Such a sad fact of society. Rainbow, Now that I have had time to think about it I agree that "enjoy" was the wrong word in this situation. And I think this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone (just my opinion ) to know that you are partly if not wholly responsible for the death of someone you love all because you made a stupid mistake. I think if I was in this situation this would be pretty much how I felt. "In my cell, my private Hell, locked inside my head. Martie, Very sad indeed Thank you all for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. Jeffrey |
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