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A home without a wall, |
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| pipTalk Lounge |
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drunk on reality-seeking |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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I once experienced this glorious rush of relief when my geography teacher announced that she wouldn't want to live a long life, for fear of contracting Alzhemier's Disease and other elderly aliments. For fear of burdening her family. My sentiments exactly. A nail hit on the head! Except that i wasn't as candid as her. Actually, I felt ashamed of harbouring this thought as I believe life to be sacred and was hence pretending for the longest time that i didn't feel such i wonder if other people too have sentiments that they wouldn't acknowledge to themselves, unless they hear other people admit it first do you sometimes have thoughts that are poking at the seams of your consciousness? thoughts that you try desperately to squash into oblivion so that you can feign ignorance of their existance? |
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| © Copyright 2004 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I often feel that if I think about something a lot- it happens. I dont know why but some random thoughts throughout my life keep occuring and then they happen.... the one that has been going through my head since late highschool is that im going to die in a car accident before my "married years". Meh- it bothers me a lot, to say the least I left my wallet in El Segundo... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hi you....  quote: Unfortunately, they never do poke at the seams of consciousness. They just bowl right on out there and that's that. Like, for example, I don't want there to be a hell. Nor does anyone, I suppose. But I also don't want there to be a heaven either. No, I'd rather just go quietly into the black, because I can think of nothing worse than existing forever and ever and ever and ever and ever... With every passing year I'm more and more convinced that all godheads are created by us however, so I guess I don't have to worry too much eh? But always that little voice - what if there really is a hell? Or, please no, a heaven. Cooky eh? No one understands it rotf. I say let the thoughts out - it's better that way, in the end. You're in a position to deal with them. Hugs you...  K |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
There you go, revealing another snapshot of reality. I think maybe we all have a moment, or more, where we feel like giving up on existing in this dimension, wondering if there is another one floating out there that is more appealing. Since I don't know if there is anything else, I refuse to leave this dimension early.  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
But I also don't want there to be a heaven either. No, I'd rather just go quietly into the black, because I can think of nothing worse than existing forever and ever and ever and ever and ever... hugs grins |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
do you think there's an age limit to making lasting friends? i feel there is. too much ground and history to cover for new aquaintances making an entrance into your life. too little time for the window of opportunity to stay open before the winds of seasonal change blow these aquaintances away and drop other batches into your path. too much circumstance, too little connection what say you? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
kaile i don't think it's a matter of age. i think it's a matter of patience and too many of us are too wrapped up in ourselves to make the effort to make and maintain those connections. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
no  age should never be a limiting factor when it comes to friendships |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
OMG, I just realized you posted a photo! THANKS! Love that smile, that enthusiasm for life that shows in this closeup, kaile. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
When I was a kid I made a conscious choice in my head that I did not want to live past 50. That was mostly because I was pretty much raised in a nursing home -- my mom had one until I was six and my granmother had one until I was 13. I saw a lot of death and dieing and horrible, prolonged events of that. Guess what? When I got to be 50 I made a conscious choice that I'm not ready to go yet; still too much to do. So, now I want to live forever. And, BTW, for me, I know there is a heaven....don't know about hell. Heaven....don't know exactly what it is, but it is another dimension of existence and it is comfort. Personally, I won't mind being comforted. Just my two cents. Interesting thread ya got here, Kaile.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Finally I see your face! YAY! And your eyes are so compelling, m'friend--full of excitement and a hint of mischief--reminds me of a mirror I used to know.  and yes, my sister just totally embraces the idea of death (much to my dismay) She actually argues with my other sister over who gets to be next. She just shrugs and says she's ready to get on with it. Interesting, huh? Not ready to end something, but impatient to begin. I admire her spirit, but as for m'self? I worry about death. I think my greatest fear is separation. I'm scared I will miss my loved ones... (and hugs, gorgeous!  ) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and came back to add a thought regarding this: "o you sometimes have thoughts that are poking at the seams of your consciousness? thoughts that you try desperately to squash into oblivion so that you can feign ignorance of their existance?" Yes and you may be aware that those are the things I try to write about-- I suffer from severe "church giggles" (inappropriate bursts of laughter) and have a habit of shooting sacred cows. Wow. Neat idea for a challenge? YOU try. "church giggles and sacred cows" grin. I'm off to the challenge forum...  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
" I can think of nothing worse than existing forever and ever and ever and ever and ever..." Believe it or not, I feel this way too, sometimes. I know that it's not going to happen though. Oh, make me Thine forever |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I figure if I like existing now, then it shouldn't be a problem to take on forever. About friends, I'm just about to go and visit a new friend of mine- she's eighty. Those blasted thoughts, sometimes I just tell them to get lost |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Hmm... I'm replying more on the topic of friends. I'm not too sure about the age limit for making friends, but as I grow I realise that I feel tired of making new friends. You've gotta go through the process of outright politeness, to gradual acquaintance, to understanding, to friends. That's kinda tedious, without having to add to the fact that it's hard to find someone who's totally in tune to your thoughts. At work, where we meet with new colleagues, it takes time for us to get to know them. But when do we surpass the stage of being colleagues? Will they ever be our friends? We have common topics of discussion about our work and complaints, etc. but what if we were to leave? Would we have so much to talk about when we next meet up? Friends are the same... There're people who remains close to you, no matter how far apart you are and how seldom you meet. You seem to be able to pick up from where you left off the last time you met. And once you do, you can't seem to let it drop, and you end up chatting for the rest of the night. But what about those who seem to have drifted far away without you knowing? The gap seems to be growing, but it seems so wide that you've no idea of how bridge it. Then are they still your friends? How do you define friends? _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
do you sometimes have thoughts that are poking at the seams of your consciousness? thoughts that you try desperately to squash into oblivion so that you can feign ignorance of their existance? Do I Ever, constantly thinking out loud, but not about disease or something that may inflict me...other things, nature, life's essense, why do other people hold grudges, and how can they do that...I think about places I've never been, and become so excited before leaving for a weekend getaway and always try to take different routes...studying people, wondering where they've been, what they're thinking and why, even when I'm reading, I become lost in questions...while listening to music, wondering how long it might have taken to build the chesapeak bay bridge....I know, I know, I'm weird... Enjoyed this and also reading the other comments...thank you |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I work in a nursing home...surrounded every day by people at the very ends of their lives. It constantly amazes me the grace and dignity with which most of them accept death and dying. Most of them would NOT choose to be where they are now. Most of them, those with a functioning mind, will tell you it isnt a pretty or fun place to be. But all of them will tell you they wouldnt trade a minute of their lives, or whats left of it. I see some who hold onto life with every means at their disposal and others who would rather not. My violation of a "sacred cow"? I think people ought to have the right to say enough is enough. To die as they have lived, with grace and dignity. |
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