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I Quit!!!!
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I Quit!!!! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Hmmm...do I have your attention? Yes? Good! I am going through a midlife crisis I think...if I was a guy, I'd get a gold chain for my neck, a new red sports car (sorry for that Ron - owner of a red Miata) and a 22 year old swimsuit model for a girlfriend. What do women do? I have often thought I'd love a Harley - but I'm so short my feet wouldn't touch the ground and I'd keep falling over..and sooner or later (helmut or no - who wears one on Harley?) I'd get brain damage....and really, I'm in Arizona, do you know what black leather feels like in 110 degree heat!? Imagine a hot dog in a ziploc baggie laying on the runway of the airport...that's me! Ok..so back to my problem (Becky stop laughing!). I thought about buying an RV and driving around the country, doing odd jobs (don't say it - odd people do odd jobs)...I even have some recipes for an RV kitchen - is the stove smaller? The measuring cups bigger - I don't get it...as long as I don't have to cook it on the engine, I'll be ok.....So here I am driving this big thing around...oh, geesh! I can't park! I'll have to only shop and eat near WalMarts .... their parking lots are big enough.. and OH, what about the toilet...does it flush out onto the road as I go...not that I could go to the bathroom and drive at the same time..but come to think of it, that would be a timesaver...a built in potty under the drivers seat...so if you see me stopped at a stop light with a funny grimace on my face, I'm not mad I'm just........well, you get the picture! Or, another cool job would be as a caretaker. I read some of the ads....they need them in the wilds of Alaska (is there a Walmart nearby?)...on tropical islands...(I get sunstroke!)...on forlorn, desolate islands off the coast of Canada that you can only reach by helicopter - UH! Oh, sorry, that's out...you want me to FLY! I could live in a cabin in the woods...I've done the 'outhouse' thing remember...and I could write..and as long as I had a computer and internet connection, I'd be fairly happy....don't know about mending fences though...never tried to get one into my sewing machine.. Well...I just wanted to tell you some thoughts that popped into my head today...(scary place to be huh?)...thanks for taking the time to read this..and remember...the next time you're in traffic and someone gestures with one finger - it's not offensive! They have the new Poet deVine Porta-potty-bucket seat and are telling you what job they're doing!!!!!! |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
WOOHOO!!! Hook me up, hot mama!! Yeah, baby!! Ok, from Arizona, take I-10 to LA, be sure to hit it at night, preferable, early morning. Switch over to I-5 towards Sacramento and head to Portland, Oregon...I'll be packed and waiting.  Alicat the Persnikitty, getting highway fever again. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Maybe we could split the cost? I'm too old for 'Road Rules' that MTV show, but I could do it..someone else will have to park though.... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Hmmm....we need Ron...then we can swing over to western Oregon and git XAngel, then over to Massachusetts for Nanner, then down to Virginia for Doreen....then we can hit Sturgis for the biker rally...YEAH!!! Alicat, ready to transform Sturgis to the new Poetry Capital of the U.S. [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-13-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh, I prefer Colon as the Poetry capital... after all I want a bumper sticker that says: The Best Poetry Comes From Colon! |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Hmmm....sounds good...also, with good ol campfire cookin, i.e. beans, that would be appropriate, considering our alternative fuel source...buttane. Alicat, donning his MOP gear and mask. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah...an alternate fuel source! Indeed, I think we've found a use for that bucket-seat, potty chair...connect it to the engine..and the driver (the one who ate the most beans the night before) fuels the car... I don't want to be the one to drive in the mountains though....I'd hate to have you yelling at me from the back ..."Sharon, let it rip!!" |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Now, would ah eva do thaaaat? Well, maybe..ok, yeah, most definately...hmmm...we need Ron again.  No worries...I think I know of a good use for all the citations for clean air emissions we'll pick up in Californy.  Alicat, slipping the good ol fashioned woopee cushion in the passenger seat. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh...and we have to go pick up Michael Anderson and Christopher...so while we're getting our emissions tested (never thought they'd have a 24 hour tester...nightly emissions..novel concept)...we can visit the ocean... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Ocean....might not be a good idea...unless we wanna make it a jacuzzi.... And yeah....the more the merrier...be another Annual Passions Retreat on wheels... Alicat, looking at suspicious bubbles in the ocean. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ok..ok..so here we've got Chris, Michael, Ron, Nan, XAngel, Doreen, you and me.... ok..where are we sleeping? There can't be room for all of us in here and I for one refuse to sleep in a sleeping bag on the ground if I know you, you will drive off in the morning without me just because you can't stand that I'm always trying to tell you where to go.... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
No problem...seats recline..except for the patented DeVine porta driver potty, plenty of floor space, and bunkers...hmm...maybe I'll toss ya out to the wolves so Ron and Nan can bunk out in relative peace....although...I might get chucked as well... Alicat, scrambling to the top of the RV as it slowly rocks. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
OH, my! Is that an earthquake!!! Why is it shaking so? "Ali! Grab those cans of beans..we may have to make a quick getaway!" |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Theres no hope for it...the cans are inside...gee...hope Ron and Nan are safe.... Alicat, getting pitched off the roof and landing with a THUD. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Suddenly, the shaking stops...there is quiet throughout the land....Ron emerges from the RV, strangely, he's smoking...he looks like this ...  Ali! Why is Ron wearing sunglasses at night? |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*looks up dazed at the Passionate Guru* Whoa...*pulls his kilt back to cover his knees* Sharon....there are some things man is not meant to know.... Alicat, dazed and confused |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
(covering eyes so I don't see the 'thing' that Alicat doth dangle from his kilt) Ok, ok...let's just get going all right? Everyone! Back in the RV...I think we should give our chariot a name....RV is so common...what do you think? Real Vroom! |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*gets up and gathers the supplies, giving Ron an awed look* Hmm...name...*looks sidelong at Ron again* Passionate Parlour Alicat, needing a himself now...[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sounds like a bordello on wheels! I thought this was a poetic place..... (Nan emerges, smile on her face, wearing her "I see you DC me" T-shirt).... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I was just slowly cruising down an interstate on my yearly tour of the courthouses of America...(on the west coast this year) hopefully to become a Discovery Channel hit some day... when a RV blasts past me... and I mean literally... this suntanned goddess with a strange grimace on her face at the wheel and what appeared to be a band of poetic gypsies inside... all sorts of strange sounds were eminating from this rolling house of lunacy... painted on the side were words of which I could not comprehend... Rolling 'Stute or something of the sort... being a shy person by nature, I resisted the effort to stare... then the RV stopped and people starting pouring out... spouting words in strange rhymes and one attractive hunkess had this strange Mass. accent and was closely attended to by some guy who obviously had delusions of grandeur.. sometype of wizard or something... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Well.....after that 'christening', ya got a better idea?  Alicat, bad and loving it |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Psst..Ali....there's a strange man looking at us...he looks like a Cop! Hide the beans...we don't want the secret of our alternative fuel source impounded! What's for breakfast? Oh, Ali,you need the beans..it's YOUR turn to drive....I think we should hit the wine country today!!! |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
So this is what an earthquake feels like.. has a peculiar odor also... kinda like a Kansas feed lot... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Oooooo...yeah, cheese and whine..urm..wine....sounds good. *hops in the drivers seat, starts the engine, and let's it rip* Alicat the flatulent kilted Persnikitty |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
We Kansas farm boys need to get out more... a rather...(politely speaking) er.. lets just say, you would kick her out of bed for eating crackers...female took over driving the "Rolling Stute" with this strange looking skirt on... OMG OMG OMG... its one of those travelestites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that ain't no woman... (even though he deos look a little like aunt Bethane, and has this odor of methane) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
LOL...Ok...but you know I'll never be able to drive, one look at my 'rack' and all you will say is 'flat you ain't'..... Ali..that man is hooking his car to our bumper!!! He's riding behind us....now he's climbing on TOP of the RV....now he's sliding into the window RIGHT onto Nan's lap...(she gets all the guys!!!)... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*looks over at Mike and gives a verticle smile* It's nae a skirrrrrt, ye daft besom...it's a kilt, ye ken? Fear not, comely buxom Lass...I'll defend you from that Loonie's advances... *starts humming Transfusion* Alicat, proudly regimental [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
NOTICE: It is decreed that henceforth, in this rolling poetry machine, all men MUST wear kilts. Men not wearing a kilt will have to sit in Mike's car, attached to the REAR end of the RV...and right UNDER the bathtub drain! Ali! Stop at the nearest WalMart for some more plaid fabric! |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Will do Sharon..yanno, you might be able to take the wheel if you didn't have that...rack. I mean, that's a pretty wide...antler spread, yanno? Maybe if you put in Mikes car, you'll have more room to drive... *pulls in to WallyWorld for more of that wonderful tartan stuff* Alicat, humming Scotland the Brave |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I am NOT riding in that car all alone! I didn't come all this way to sit in a car by myself and listen to all of you whooping and hollering and having fun up here...so just get that idea right out of your head mister...I've decided to write country/western songs (whiplash from the topic change) I’m nothing but a wienie in a ziploc baggie And you’re nothing but a wienie in a kilt We’re driving around in this here RV The biggest one that Winnebago built |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
thought he heard talk of stopping to eat... guess that isnt the Hooters everyone was talking about... still a little concerned about the smile on auntie bethane there... at least oughta shave the legs... er... guess aunt bethane didnt either... oh... Walmart... these west coast fancy pants (skirts) do have some class... I am supposed to wear what????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hate to tell some of you guys... you dont need them skirts near that long.. heading back out on the road again... on the road again.. sheesh.. they could write a poem about that.. or at least a song.. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Tha is wha ah'd really like ta be Fer if'n ah was an Oscar Meyer wienie Ever'ne would luv ta eat....um.. Ok, fine...you can keep your rack up front...nice rack again, and keep me company while we seek out the nearest WallyWorld. Alicat, still humming the wienie song Ali's Kilt [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
The buxom babe with the Arizona tan observes a nude jogger on the side of the road... she turns quickly... I am knocked across the Rv... talk about knockers.... now who was that out there jogging sans clothing? where the heck is his funny plaid skirt? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ok...here at WalMart!!! Doreen and XAngel, stay with the RV..guard it with your life... Ron and Nan...uh..where's Nan? NAN!!!! (sees Nan running towards a puddle in the parking lot).."Nan! That's not the ocean!" Ok..the rest of us (gee Michael and Chris are awfully quiet!)...into WalMart.... Easter stuff is out (let's stock up on Peeps) they last forever and if they get hard, we can roast them over our buttane fire....And Chips..need chips....(Ali walks to the fabric department where he is petted and cosseted by the lady selling her goods by the yard)... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
"Urm..yes.." *removes hand* "Would you have any.." *removes other hand* "Ahem..would you.." *removes both hands and foot* "Plaid fabric...got.." *gets backed into an Easter Display* "Um..." *removes hands and tape measure* "Plaid fabric..yards..." *gets cornered by fabric lady and assistant* "Um..guys..help?" Alicat, very nearly bent over a barrel... |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
heh, Im glad I am not the only one who has wierd mental brain thoughts Interesting ideas PdV Might wanna cruise down to San Jose, CA and hook me up with some o'dat cookin |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*pushing the cart (I didn't know they had barrels in Walmart) *Mike, Michael and Christopher are in Ladies Lingerie... I'm stuck again, picking up provisions..Ron is off in the Computer department, loading up on Rams or Bytes or Gigs... "Ali! Get your plaid butt over here"! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Ok, look, you guys! Here I am expecting a jammin' good Thyme down at Sturgis and all the guys are dressing up in kilts???!!!??? Take those kilts OFF! PLEASE! *evil grin* AND KEEP THEM OFF! Thank you. *wink* |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
OMIGOD!! Wait a minute... i didn't notice they were wearing lingerie, too... geesh... who ARE these guys... Hey, deVine... give them back their leathers! We're going to Sturgis, for chrissake... I knew we shoulda taken the convertable. You're supposed to go to Sturgis topless, right? |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Ah's a tryin...  *grabs a yardstick and fences the fabric ladies* Take that..and that..and...hey..no fair...put the crotchet needle down! Uh oh... *vaults the Spring Swing display and hightails it, keeping own tail covered, if possible, back to Sharon* Ooof... *hits the cart and bottoms up* Doreen, yes ma'am! Wilco! Alicat, in a definate bind [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Star Date 41300....this is the chronicle of how nine innocent poets (5 of whom were naked, kiltless men) were forceably ejected (stop giggling Ali!) by two 90 year old WalMart greeters. We were minding our own business when Doreen comes running in yelling that Nan needs a quilt..well, Doreen had a Tootsie Pop in her mouth and all the guys heard was "Nan needs a kilt" so they all pulled theirs off and flung them at Doreen! The next thing we knew..we were standing next to the RV, 5 naked poets (a sestina if I ever heard one) and 4 angry women (a pantoum!).... Ron, leader that he is, covered himself with his cowboy hat and ordered us back into the RV... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
While Four angry lasses were fuming The greeters just stared As the Facts were bared As everyone glanced at their plumbing *deftly, Ali runs inside the RV, returning with his gunny sack, pulling out fresh Kilts for all* Your choice, mates....wear em or dangle in the wind.... *donning his, he bows to the assembled audience, kisses the four angry women upon thier rosy cheeks, and ducks back inside the RV, taking the helm* Let's load up people...we still got a K-Mart to get banned from.... Alicat, knowing this chronicle shall be continued...later... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Dammit, Alicat! Why'd you do that??? Now I'm COLD!! Hey, Sharon, throw me that leather over there, wouldja? Nan disappeared with the quilt... In days of curiosity when Sturgis cats were Kilt I'll have no animosity 'bout cards that I've been dilt. We're on the road to have some fun, the Wizard, he is lost... This midlife crisis Sharon has has such a minor cost. No kilts, no tops, no poet rest can keep us from our fate. Hey, poetpeople, this is FUN! Hey poets, this is GREAT! C'mon guys... funs over, back in the bus... let's get down the road! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Christopher takes the wheel (and after Doreen chases him and gets it back), we start back down the road....looking for that BIG K in the sky....we see the Big M..which causes XAngel to whine that she's hungry..then Nan says she'd like some Cod..(cape or fish)...so we decide to pull into Denny's...always serving breakfast.... The guys all order some kind of slam....then Doreen wants to know if they use real butter on the toast and is the milk fresh and are those real eggs and can the syrup be heated..and then...well..it's not so bad being tossed out of Denny's! On the way to KMart again... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*after being escorted by cops on break out of Denny's* Well...that wasn't so bad...except for the cavity search thingy *shudders and waddles to the RV* No worries..there's still the Kettle, IHOP, Sherries, Waffle House, Pancake House, and a slew of others... New quest: not only to convert Sturgis, but to be booted and banned from as many diners and merchandise stores as feasably possible....upwards and onwards, stalwart Poets.....our Quest awaits! *mounts a banner of a Dragon curled around a Gothic P on the back of the RV* Alicat, on the prowl |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*After Ali's 'incident' with the Denny's cops, we now find that we have a police escort...the only traveling poetry troup in the west with our own security force! (I feel like Madonna....like a virgin..oh! sorry, can't sing that one!) We get back on track and onto the next stop... we are in search of the perfect whine...yes...we were told that northern California was known for it's whines....(Nan and XAngel, hungry still and not wanting to eat the beans for fear they will have to sit on the drivers seat AFTER Christopher are perfecting their Poetic WHINES now) |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
I love to eat real butter, fresh milk, real eggs and toast... but if we stop at IHOP just call me "poet-ghost". I may not have my shirt on but guys have lost their pants.. I'm sure they'll be some dirt on News-at-Ten, again, by chance. "POETPEOPLE CAME TO TOWN" they'll soon announce on air. 'TOOK THE HILLSIDE BY WALMART" (would anybody care??) 'WENT TO IHOP TO EAT EGGS AND ALL WITHOUT THEIR SHIRT! DROVE A VAN WITH POTTY SEAT! THE COPS ARE ON ALERT!" The thing about the story on channel seven news is no-one's watching tv sets (appliance they don't use) They all just sit in front of some small tiny 'puter screen deVine midlife in crisis with faces turning green. No shirts, no kilts, no potty seat this Sturgin trip goes on... Just think, while we are having fun someone must mow the lawn! I hope that they don't mow us down before this journey's done. Oh, Sharon dear, forgot to ask... is midlife crisis fun??? |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*slowly, the caravan of the 'Stute Wienie, several cars hooked to the bumper in a long train, and a squad car, hoping to catch another glimpse of the fabled DeVine Rack, move up the winding road of Mount Shasta* Um..guys....more beans, please...this boat needs more oomph... *one hand on the wheel, open can between my legs, other hand on the spoon, I shift it on down to second, and punch it, zooming up the mountain road in a cloud of green exhaust* *Starts singing the theme to Beverly Hillbillies* Alicat..just a ......um..grinnin... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*after stopping at a garage sale to get a rocker for Nan, we strapped her to the roof of the RV... Michael and Chris are hanging off the back, waving and whistling at all the girls.. XAngel and Doreen are riding with the policemen (not knowing it was the full cavity body search of Alicat that drew them to the Caravan)....Ali is driving and Mike is navigating (occasionally holding Ali's can as he loads more buttane fuel into the seat)and I'm sitting at the table with Ron.. So! Ron, how are things going? Are you happy to be here? Do you think you'll like Sturgis? Do you think they have buffalo in South Dakota? (*Ron mutters to himself "first PetSmart we find I'm getting this woman a muzzle!) PdV overhears a bit of this and thinks Whoopee! Toys!!! |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
There is an RV in California, They call the Rolling 'Stute, It's been the ruin of many a fine boy, Who now think beans are fruit. My mother was a tailor, She sewed my brand new kilt, My father was a poet man, My God, deVine is built... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Excuse me, Mr. Officer, sir... is that a gun in your pocket? |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Doreen her glass of wine she spilt, Upon the lap of someone's kilt, DeVine rushed in to lend a hand, Then a scream heard throughout poetic band, A woman's voice,"is not that quaint?" While man did scream, gear shift that ain't. Mike helps Nan back into the RV... as she sings in a Tiny Tim falsetto... Tiptoe through the poets... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
or....? |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Mike bends over and says to Toto...(now that is a strange name for a ... er gun) "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
By the way... is that the Grand Tetons over there? sheesh... Ms. deVine, could ya move away from the window.... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Boy am I ever glad I brought my camera!!... as I tiptoe carefully among the motley crew... Back to the safety of my chamber on wheels...  |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*coasting down Mount Shasta, with an entourage longer than Michael Jackson's, Ali let's a final one rip as they pull into Sacramento, an evil grin on his face as he spots the nearest Pet Smart* Here's a little story 'bout a wee 'Stute train Folks a-drivin by thinkin "They're insane!" Now in Californy for a muzzle for DeVine Need a few more beans for to cross the next state line Boston Beans, that is Blackened n soft Rich and sweet Well the cops piled out and one gave me a wink Couldn't help but think that the guy was but a twink Can't wait to hit the road again, to go to Sturgis ball And show that those who wear the kilt are real men afterall Alicat, on the catbird seat |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I believe in gun control....bring that Toto over here Mike.. Geesh Nan you brought your 'chamber pot'! We decide to camp for the night.....near a stream with fish in it..and the men (hunters that they are) want to provide the crew with the evening vittles (I think we'll be eating rocks).... The women gather moss (except for Nan who has crept back to her perch on the roof of the RV so she can supervise!) Ron has his computer hooked up and is logging onto the forum..since most of his moderators are with him, the place is going whacko (especially the alley where several poets have been sitting at their computers for hours...LOL...geeks with no life!) [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I can't believe I had all this fun tonight and I wasn't even here .... IRonic, isn't it? I'm off to dreamland now.... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Psst! Nan's asleep...LET'S PARTY!!! [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 04-12-2000).] |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Wait a minute.. where did Ron go....? hey.. that ain't no perch up there on top of the RV with Nan... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ron! Get down from there! You know Nan doesn't make a good satellite dish!!! |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Taking over the wheel of the RV so I can get some sleep... wake me up when we get to Sturgis.... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*pulls out a box of MRE's and passes them around while he searches for his modem cable for the sat. uplink* Hey Ron...Ron? *looks around puzzled, then hooks his powerstrip to the generator, jacks in, and goes on-line* Ahh..nuthin like getting back to nature..*he says as he checks out Discovery.com* Alicat, net-addict |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*sigh* Such a quiet night here...(We won't tell Mike that he's not driving and the engine is off for the night!) Ali, Chris and Michael are huddled around the laptop looking at the Discovery Channel (Why they want to look at a credit card is beyond me!) Ron is diligently reading and replying to the poems..trying to keep the peace in the Alley where two poets have run amuck... Nan, asleep on the roof, bundled in kilts, snores, attracting a rutting male moose....he stands guard at the edge of the camp waiting for his ladylove to climb down from her perch... Doreen and XAngel are fighting over who's going to wear the leather pants in the passion family... And PdV...well...she's just trying to keep things in order....making sure everyone is happy...(*hey Ron! Can I see your laptop!) |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
For some reason... I feel violated...sniff! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Chris! Honey..it doesn't matter what color you are..blue..green...yellow ....violate... we still love you! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls..please harken to my tale. Let this evening be a lesson to you all..Life can sometimes seem overwhelming..sad..depressing..empty...when you get so stressed out you wonder what you're going to do, please take a moment to smile.....it's the best medicine in the world....and laugh! Without it, where would we be...? Thank you for sharing this moment of insanity with us....until we meet again.. this is Radio PiP signing off... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
*the lone cameraman, still amazed, looks out from behind the lens and says. . .* "You guys are messed up!!!" LOL forget "Road Rules"! This is more like "Road Rage"!!! LOL --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
No fair!!! I missed out on all the fun cuz in my time zone we were asleep! Geesh, you guys get all the fun! *scowling*...the least you can do is tell me when the next trip is! I have to say though, describing what I did while reading this whole post as laughing would be putting it mildly. ROTFL. You poet people are crazy....er what does that make me?!? Oh yeah, thanks for the education on alternative fuel methods! lol... Love and hugs to all the comedians and comediennes who made this post so hilarious, Lizzie .... ....  ....  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well hey, I couldn't just go and leave it at number 69 ya know! You really had me going from the first paragraph, I never laughed so hard...well not in a long time anyway! You guys are toooooo much |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sunshine's a-sneaking in, because she's in the know of just how far a REAL RV can really go; and while you all weren't a-looking, she grabbed on real fast, because there's even more room, neither port nor aft but up on top is where she hangs out ariding the RV away you kiltless guys and sassy lasses Sunshine's on top to stay! Away from the beans and resultant noise hanging on to the radio's antenna for joy; she's the navigator of the roadways and all that you'll get Sunshine to say is "Whoopee kye-ay, they came to Kansas at last!" and this ride will, in everyone's memory, last! Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
this was fantabulous !! think I got my humor dosage for the day in excess *tears from laughing streaming down my face* Thanks for sharing your great wild adventure !!! Mystical being which makes ink flow Surround me in your incandescent glow Fill my brain with thoughts and rhyme As I try to capture but a moment in time ~Shan~ |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
You know you all are stutifiable...LOL This could almost be the Silly Bus were looking for. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You know, Sharon, you should call out sick from work more often! This was hillarious! Thanks for the laughs, everybody! Denise |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
*A big, black government car pulls the RV over. A blond haired man in dark sunglasses gets out of the car and walks to the driver side window carrying a metal object with a long copper tube protruding from it.* Special Agent Bouder, here, from the U.S. Department of Energy. I understand you folks have tapped into an alternative energy source and I need to attach this meter to the source so that the government can tax it. Please step out of the RV, ma'am. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Och...who ye be callin ma'am, ye daft sessonach...ah'm a mon, ye ken? Neu ah feel mos violated, wi yer brawn asssssssupmtions...an ah won stand, nor sit fer it. So's ah tell ye whut, ye wee-brain'd twit, seeings as ah'v dun ha sumtin prodded whar these so-calllllled emissionions com frae, how'd abut ye taxin yerself inna same manna...*mutters and mumbles on about siccin the Celtic Anti-Defamation Association on this guy for confusing him for a lass...several speciems that can be seen on top of the RV, and inside, as evidenced by Sharon's notorious 'rack', known throughout several states now* So's if'n ye be finished, Sunny Jim..we'll jus be mosian on, ye ken? We've mus be gittin ta Sturgis...Now, see'n as we've dun ha thi cha...why don'cha hitch ye auto ta tha wee squ'ca inna back un fallo us oop? Alicat, who is already taxed on every thing else but emissions..... |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
DRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I missed all the fun! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*Stepping carefully around Alicat (trying not to disturb his dander, which has gotten up due to Jim's confusion over his gender!) "Sir, I can swear that we are testing this fine Poetic Pooper Power with the full approval of the Government" *Turns to the RV "Mike!!!"...see we travel with our own legal counsel now...because of the WalMart and Denny's incidents! "Mike..tell this man!!!" |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
This RV has been certified by the DEA, the FBI, CIA, HUD, MUD, NOW, WOW, POW, and quite a few other governmental agencies at both the Federal, State and Municipal levels, as well as three foreign countries I am prevented by law from disclosing. So... Cease and desist before I obtain a Writ of Habeaus Corpus as Testifucundum e barfus eruptus. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
*Satisfied that Mike is telling the truth about the government's approval of the RV's power source, yet still having to fill his quota for this month, the ever observant Special Agent Jim tries Plan B* Ma'am, do you have a permit for that haggis you're hidin' under your kilt? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
XAngel and Doreen, seeing another 'man in uniform', jump from the RV and start to fondle Jim's clipboard! Flustered by such attention, Jim drops his pen. Alicat, the good helper that he is, bends over to pick it up. At that point, Jim sees the light..the error of his ways..and the crack of dawn! He asks if he too can join the Poetic Crew of the RV and journey with them to the land of leather and metal...Sturgis, South Dakota. Alicat,never one to hold a grudge (unless it's Ellie Grudge with the big rack) slaps Jim on the back and welcomes him to the group. The journey continues...eastward now to Sturgis....but first the must pass through - (a hush falls over the crowd) |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
*still muttering under his breath about that haggis comment* ~aggisssss....ah'll shew im a aggissss....~*they RV, et al, streams over the mountains, heading towards a new dawn...either that or something exploded...could be Sharon's back-up wienie in a ziploc bag...arriving at night, seeing nothing but halos on the cracked asphalt, when a troupe of  prance across the highway...we must be close...* Alicat, on the Highway to Hell... [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 04-13-2000).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
*getting it all on film! they'll love this stuff back at the network!!* do you have the tapes? I really need the tapes!! |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Hey guys!!! I wanna go!!! Pick me up at the Travel America at the Broadway exit in Boise on I-84. I'll have my leathers and some coin so we can seriously party!!! Haven't been to Sturgis since '82. Would love to go with!!! Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
ok all i wanted to say was that i was scrolling down the numerous replies and stopped at the dancing girls..matter a fact i'm still there...that's all i wanted to say All Day I Dream About Stanzas!! |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Isn't there room for me in this lean, mean, poet machine? Huh? Huh? I wanna come too...lemme come, lemme come! "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Agent Jim only wanted some fun When he ate beans and dogs by the ton But to his grand dismay He discovered that day Why two colons are better than one Hey, Alicat ... pass the beans, will ya? |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
OMG !! Sharon ... this is too funny ... I LOVE this side of you ... Btw ... I went out and got myself my baby, my heart , my darling Miata, metallic cobalt/blue mix, camel leather interior and convertible top .. bose , 6 speakers ... ( blows me away ) .. This little darling takes off 30 years, everytime I get behind the wheel .... .... and probably I'm not the only one on the road that this takes 30 years off LOL .....If you do get down to Florida, besure to come park that RV, here .. Have plenty of room ..... "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind." Maxwell Maltz |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
If it can float, come and pick me up..I could do with a new lease of life and it's about time I went and had a ball (or two)..oops...and I'm crazy so I'll just fit in with anyone..I could actually just pack a bag and go jump on a plane having bought the ticket blindfold...LOL... Now what's wrong Sharon?..*g*...can I help? ROFL...you're all NUTS!!!! HUSG If I could, I would and if I didn't, I should have! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Pepper!!! Don't be letting Ron hear that you got a blue Miata... Nope... Make sure he's not listening to that one!!!!.... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*Two days later...the only poet able to drive is PdV (she doesn't drink, smoke or gamble!). As the troup leaves Vegas, PdV ponders on the many ice-less escapades everyone had in that Neon City. Let's listen to the mind of PdV : "If I had to hear Alicat offer to let me pull on his 'one armed bandit' one more time I'd..oh! You're here..listening in huh? Ok..here's the scoop" (PdV focuses) "Vegas proved to be the city that almost broke the group up! Half the poets, with Mike in the lead, wanted to go see the revival of 'Grease' with Pee Wee Herman and Fran Drescher. The other half just wanted to hang out in a casino and try to win jackpots (Though who would want Jack's pot, is beyond me! I think our bucket seat pot is just fine... PdV focus!) So, there we were standing in the middle of the strip when all of a sudden Pepper shouted "Tom Jones"!!!! The women were off and running....Pepper led the pack wearing a goldenrod colored sweatsuit...RainbowGirl (who we just picked up at the airport) was coming in a close second wearing a multicolored peasant skirt and white blouse that kept falling down off her shoulder.. Alicat (in his quilt) was right behind her helping to lift and tuck all her 'falling things'! Nan, XAngel and Doreen were giggling and running as fast as they could (all wearing their Dockers and the "I Love Vegas" T shirts they bought at the airport). The other women were just a blur as they pounded down the sidewalk. Tom Jones, turned to see the stampede of Poets coming towards him, shrieked something like "What's To Do Pussycat!" and took off down an Alley. (not this one) The men stood watching them go....then a few wandered away with Mike...the rest went into the Casino to lose their shirts (we hoped!). I was such a good girl! Never went into a gambling den with those wicked people...didn't imbibe or inhale...in fact I was thinking of changing my name to 'Perfectly deVine'... Anyway..that's what I remember.... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Wait a minute... you're memory is a little off here, Ms. deV... That wasn't me in an "I Love Vegas" t-shirt and dockers... nope... I don't wear dockers... I was the one in blue jeans and boots... until I took the boots off and stashed 'em in my backpack and went barefoot. I had a tank top on with a really cool illustration of a wizard on it on the front and underneath the wizard, it said, "Sturgis or Bust" and on the back it said, "I'm Lost. Please Take Me Home!" Anyway, just wanted to set the record straight. I didn't really like Vegas too much, especially when Wayne Newton kept staring at me and all that (that WAS Wayne Newton, wasn't it? Or is he dead? Well, what's the difference)... God, is he weird, or what? When you guys weren't looking, I snuck out of the poetpeople group and walked around town a bit until I found a really cool club with a blues band and a couple of pool tables... and guess who was sitting there just waiting to play a game of pool with me? Yep. It was Balladeer! Let me tell you, I was VERY surprised to see him without his laptop and with his cue chalked and all just waiting for me... but he didn't seemed surprised in the least to see me! "Hey, Doreen!" he shouted, then casually walked up to the table and said, "7 ball. Side pocket." Well, anyway, he bought me a drink and we listened to the band and shot a couple of games... the band was fabulous! I think they were called something like Big Mama Colon and the Bluesboys.... This big bouncer didn't seem to care for the fact that I was barefoot, though, and asked us to leave. We just laughed and I put my boots back on and we shot another game of pool... this time, I had a really hard shot and couldn't reach it very well with the stick... oh never mind... long pool story... Funny thing is, Balladeer didn't even know any of you guys were in town and when I told him, he didn't seem to care at all... so, we're gonna be hanging out here for a few days and we'll catch up to you later, k? Keep that RV going strong and make sure none of the guys put their kilts back on... That kilt thing was embarrassing, y'know? Seeya in Sturgis... unless I take another DETOUR... which, given my current state of mind is a very good possibility. Later. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Don't let Doreen detour she'll get in trouble...LOL |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
OHHHHH this is soooooo KEWL!!! wAS HERE LAUGHING MY *SS OFF Well done guys. ROFLMAO!!!! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*Oh, yes.. I remember now! Doreen did disappear and to think she found Sir Balladeer! Well, I don't think they went to far.. just saw them beside us in 'deers fancy new car! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Well, since I started this post, I'm going to end it... we've decided to remain quiet as we 'sneak' into the town of Sturgis, South Dakota for the First Annual Poetry Fest! FAPF !!! So listen carefully, my friends and you will hear the sounds of the poetic-mobile and perhaps if the wind is right, you'll smell us coming!!! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Bump for the newbies!!! |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Shewwww!!! You guys didn't happen to come through Canton, NC on yer trip did ya? No wait , that's the paper factory ...lol Can't believe I missed this one...roflmao All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
And pray, tell us DeVine one, where this story ended.......oh yes, I remember....Sturgis! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh my gosh!!! I remember this!!  |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I live in a RV. It's called the Park Model cause it's more like a house. 40'X8 1/2' with 2 slideouts. Still leagal size to pull on the road. Will it ever be moved from the RV park? (I doubt it) Hubby loves not paying property tax and mostly not having to take care of the lawn, and less than 10 minutes from his job. So if you came this way it only cost $19 per night or $160 per mth.(mth you have to pay elec. $.10 per kilowatt. Remember that WalMart may have large parking space but it doesn't have a place to empty waste water. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
this is weird....i have nothing to say....just thought i'd say you're all freakin me out here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Bump for a friend. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
huh?  hi Sweets, Lizzy, Jesa, Ina, Allysa, Marie, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Chelsea, Baker, Leah, Jess, Kimmie |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
hey. . . I thought that you said that I would never have to share the tapes again!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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