The Metanarrative Has Left the Building

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IsAnyone
Junior Member

since 2006-08-19

Posts 11

0 posted 2006-09-25 12:30 PM

"The Metanarrative Has Left the Building"

Only the devil can change that woman's mind;
might be Lucifer has a place on Earth.
Enthroned in the royal hall of Ego,
brewing discontent, killing mirth.

Hunched over Life's manuscript,
I wonder who will make your casting crew's cut,
and when tryouts will be next life.
There are worlds other than these,
a reference point for our strife.
All we want is a shining light - a beacon to cut
through the fog, a razor sharp knife, to guide us home.

No one is avant-garde;
we all go to the same place.
You're borrowing from Shakespeare,
down to the silk and lace.
Others have traveled this Path,
so in the end there is nothing to fear.

(Thanks in advance for honest critique)

ChristianSpeaks
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 396
Iowa, USA

1 posted 2006-09-25 03:48 PM

Okay-

I've read this a couple of times and I still come back to- So what?

I don't see that you have a point. Perhaps it's my own shortcomings, but there's not much to stand on here - borrowing from Ess I think. I would encourage you to read the the conversation in Poor Vision and look at the link that Moonbeam left. Go to the August workshop and see what advice is given. That may clear some things up and give you a little direction for this piece.

CS

Who am I if I can't love, What am I if I can't hate, and what is the result when I can't tell the difference?

Dane Barner

IsAnyone
Junior Member

since 2006-08-19

Posts 11

2 posted 2006-09-25 05:19 PM

Hmm, my point sort of boils down to the title, we construct our own meta-narratives in today's world especially. Still, its definitely vague so I have to agree with your criticism, I'll think about how to fix it.

ChristianSpeaks
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 396
Iowa, USA

3 posted 2006-09-25 06:46 PM

Okay-

So I did some research as the the definition and use of metanarrative's( oh, it's not hyphenated, or a least I don't think) It seems as though you are trying to descrive an anti-metanarrative. A story that still encompasses the whole of human nature - but the bad side. You seems to have a central truth but it's not all that happy. Since Metanarration my not be all that a common of a term you may want to provide some juxtaposition at the onset. Just helping where I can, if I can.

CS

Who am I if I can't love, What am I if I can't hate, and what is the result when I can't tell the difference?

Dane Barner

IsAnyone
Junior Member

since 2006-08-19

Posts 11

4 posted 2006-09-25 08:32 PM

Yeah like I said its vague, and as you said its not a common term so I guess that makes me cool for using it =D (or a fool)

Regardless, I wasn't thinking of an anti metanarrative so much as I was thinking about post modernism and how we don't have cut and dry metanarratives as much as we used to. For example, in the 50s the classic American household with the stoic provider husband, the perfect wife, etc. Now our role models and our personal stories are more individual and amorphous.

(And you are right, most commonly it isn't hyphenated although it isn't a dictionary word so I guess anything goes, but I'll go with convention here and remove the hyphen =D )

cynicsRus
Senior Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!

5 posted 2006-09-26 01:04 PM

CS made some valid points regarding the write as a whole; you seem intent on wasting time attempting to explain the title as though it will sum up, and by default, correct everything else.
The title means nothing if the poem beneath it is failing.

Sid

ChristianSpeaks
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 396
Iowa, USA

6 posted 2006-09-26 01:13 PM

Sid

Don't be accusatory. Just needs some work.

Hugs all around.

CS

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

7 posted 2006-09-26 04:55 PM

My only nit is the life/strife rhyme, it's overused, and the cut/cut--it's too close together.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

cynicsRus
Senior Member

since 2003-06-06

Posts 591
So Cal So Cool!

8 posted 2006-09-26 05:02 PM

There was no accusation--other than you accusing me of making an accusation perhaps. I made an inference, based on a valid point: This is hardly the time to get into deciding whether the title works, and why or why not.
If you feel the write is worthy of critique, why waste time over the mundane? You've got a crowd waiting in line to dine in the banquet hall, while you sit there debating the color of the napkins or some other nonsense.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

9 posted 2006-12-10 11:31 PM

Metanarrative refers to the models of Hegel and Marx for the most part (According to Lyotard anyway). Also, Hayden White wrote a great book on metanarrative which attempts to describe historiographical periods as a series of tropes (we're in the ironic trope right now). It is not a synonym for stereotypes or, if you want, normative values.

If I can find the time, I'll try to get back to this but right now this poem reads like a cry for some kind of religion.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

10 posted 2006-12-11 12:08 PM

Is there a connection between the three stanzas?

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

11 posted 2006-12-11 09:48 AM

'No one is avant-garde;
we all go to the same place.
You're borrowing from Shakespeare,
down to the silk and lace.'

This seems like a point to hone in on. I personally got very distracted and confused by the bit with the devil.

Also, the bit about life's manuscript seems like an "all the world's a stage..." reference, but it's very obvious... I guess I feel like that stanza is hitting me over the head?

I would also personally suggest not capitalizing certain words... I know it's meant for emphasis, but I think it ends up being more distracting in the long run.

Hope this helped.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

12 posted 2006-12-11 04:56 PM

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of poems seem overly concerned with the egotism, or even narcissism, of others?

Wonder why that is?

[This message has been edited by Brad (12-12-2006 07:32 PM).]

ChristianSpeaks
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 396
Iowa, USA

13 posted 2006-12-12 11:31 AM

I'm not sure, but you're right.

And perhaps I am guilty.

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