»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
Small Pain in my Chest
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
Small Pain in my Chest |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
( repost from other site ) The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree. As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me. The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night And scores of figures on the ground lay still by morning's light. "I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could. "A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good. We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest - A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest." As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed in with Asian dirt. "Not much", said he. "I count myself more lucky than the rest. They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest." "Must be fatigue", he weakIy smiled. "I must be getting old. I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold. We climbed the hill, two hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest, The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest." "I looked around to get some aid - the only things I found Were big, deep craters in the earth - bodies on the ground. I kept an firing at them, sir. I tried to do my best, But finally sat down with this small pain in my chest." "I'm grateful, sir", he whispered, as I handed my canteen And smiled a smile that was, I think, the brightest that I've seen. "Seems silly that a man my size so full of vim and zest, Could find himself defeated by a small pain in his chest." "What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown, If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone? Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast, That I'd be sitting HERE one day with this pain in my chest?" "Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun. "It's growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun. I think, before I travel on, I'll get a little rest .......... And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest. I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried; I put my arms around him and I pulled him to my side And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest. |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Leigh Anne Junior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 48Scottsboro, AL USA |
Your poem was so vivid and beautiful. Though heart wrenching at times. You posess such talent, & i can't wait to read more of your work! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Your kind words are greatly appreciated, Leigh Ann. Thank you. |
||
|
fjones Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98MS |
I have yet to read a contemporary poet whose words have the power to envoke the emotions yours "conger up" in me. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks. I accept your conger-adulations with pride! |
||
|
Wolfgang Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 124Hamilton, Ont. Canada |
A truly touching and heartfelt poem. A great tribute to all soldiers. What tears you must have shed writing this emotional work. Thank you ------------------ Wolfgang |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
and thank you, Wolfgang, for your insight... |
||
|
Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
Every time I read something that you wrote, I am moved beyond words! Judging from all the responses you accumulate, you already know you are talented... but I'll tell you anyway. Your poetry is among the best I've ever read... if not THE best I've ever read!! This poem, especially, was a tear-jerker. I am so impressed! (I especially liked the last two lines... wonderful!) ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Krystal, Words liek yours make it easy for me to keep going. I value your appreciation very much. Thank you. |
||
|
Marie New Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 6Stafford,TX,United States |
Absolutely touching. Is it O.K. if I let my boss look at it (he is a friend of a publisher) I know him VERY well, and he (my boss) would really like this one. My boss says anything he likes, his friend the publisher likes it. (usually) |
||
|
ChristelleS Junior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 15San Diego, Ca. U.S.A. |
You touch me  ------------------ Christelle S. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marie.....please, with my blessing and thank you for caring. and you, Christelle..... |
||
|
Genea Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 321USA |
Balladeer, Such emotion, such courage, such ....goodness! Powerful comes to mind. Anything else i say, pales in comparison to this wonderful poem. Loved it! ~Genea |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
My Deer Balladeer..... I never told you how much I like this poem!!! Silly me....  |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Once again you move me with your talent. It seems you can reach any plane with such percision |
||
|
elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
such goosebumps...simply delightful...thank you Michael ------------------ Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart... |
||
|
Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
You da man! Lets go play a round of golf sometime! PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html |
||
|
CastleHoward Junior Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 20 |
What can I say but that I cried... yes, really... the futility of lost lives in war... oh, that was truly beautiful, Balladeer |
||
|
guiltborn Junior Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 30South Dakota |
wow... a three lettered word that explains in every detail my amazement at your talent. You truly have a gift for wordsmithing. Thank you for sharing. I believe this poem shows the futility of war and the fact that even in adversity and when facing death, that not even war can break the human spirit. |
||
|
poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Dear Sir, how much time do you invest in writing something such as this ? I rarely comment on your work because you receive such rave reviews, but I love them just the same!! If only I had more time on my hands, and more patience with myself...but I could only hope to be a fraction of what you are!!! Fabulous... ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Fellow poets, if my poem moved you to tears, then we're even because your comments have done the same for me. Thank you all. Poetwheel, any time. Bring money. |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Balladeer....I have been away from the poetry side of this for a few days and nearly missed this wonderful poem. What a loss it would have been for me. As I sit here with tears in my eyes I can't help but think of what a master story teller you are. This was exquisetly written and a piece for which you should be very proud. Now get it out there somewhere besides here!!! If you need ideas where, I have a few for you. ------------------ "Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald |
||
|
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Everything that has been said I would say to you again. You are a master of words! Your colletive work is like a kaleidoscope of the human heart. Thank you for sharing all that you do. |
||
|
Jessica Pahre Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 12Fort Polk, LA, USA |
I'm sitting here trying to type through tears. Your mastery of words is just breathtaking, and inspiring. Particularly this poem. I grew up in the military, and married into it as well, and all too often I look around to see the impartial, unhuman side of things -- not to mention live with fear for what might happen to my husband should he be sent off onto a battlefield. It may sound odd, to say thank you, for this piece, but... Thank You. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My thanks to you, Jessica. Let's pray it never happens. Andrew, Hoot...thank you both. |
||
|
Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
Very beautiful and heart-wrenching.I love your work so much!! Keep 'em coming...sometimes we all need to be jerked back into reality.~~Meli ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe |
||
|
Doogle Junior Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 11London |
Michael Yesterday I received my copy of "the book". I was reading through and your poem really stood out. It is truly fantastic, both technically and emotionally. Can I ask if it is in any way based on a real occurence? It is just so real. Like many others, I cried. This morning I showed my mother. She cried. We sat there blubbing away like a right pair! Well I am off to scan the pages for more of your work! Thank you for perhaps the best poem I have ever read! Sarah |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
...and I thank you for possibly the most heart-felt response I have ever received. Was it based on a real experience? Yes and no, I suppose. No....it didn't happen to me or anyone I knew. I simply drew on my experience as a Viet Nam vet to create it. Yes...because I'm sure it did happen, unfortunately, way too many times. Thank you, Sarah, very much for your kind words...Michael |
||
|
Hypnosis Member
since 2001-12-02
Posts 325CO |
Another very nice poem. I have read a few of your poems, and i have to say that they are very powerful and make me think about what life really is, and how fragile in this world it can be to break. This poem here pulled a tear to my eye. Randy Meador a life lived unexplored is a life not worth living. |
||
|
Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is a very sad reality Michael and I remember this one well!!!! Your talent shines in this piece!!!! HUGS, Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I read this before on your website, 'Deer... just coming here to tell you that I think it's brilliantly touching, which you no doubt already know... and that I'm putting it in my private library among several of your others... Great work. Parasite Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Helps to hit the button. |
||
Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Balladeer: How could anyone read this and not cry? It's an outstanding write and you surely feel pride in what you have done! Betty Lou Hebert |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Worthy of a repost - every time a soldier falls - every anniversary that we honor our men who serve their country. |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Yes indeed,worthy of a repost. There is a huge three sided bullentin board at work displaying letters and photos from service people in Iraq to whom we write and send packages. May I have permission to post this there? Best to you, you certainly know how to play the heart strings. best,marty |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
'Deer, this is my fav of yours, every time without fail, this moves me to tears. soft smile Maree  all I can taste is this moment, all I can breathe is your life, cause sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight.~GooGooDolls~ |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marty, permission granted with my heartfelt thanks! Maree, always an extreme pleasure to see your name. Thank you  |
||
|
saved_by_grace Member
since 2005-01-08
Posts 332In the arms of God... |
Incredible!!! I can't even begin to discribe the amount of emotion you brought to my eyes and heart. This was an amazing write, Deer!!! Thought I was going to go to bed, but find myself transfixed on finding more. Keep 'em rollin' off our pen...[I am glad that I have many more to catch up on  ...I will probably never get through them all at the pace I am going...with the responding to every one, but they are all worthy of response!  ] Keepin' this one! -- Becka |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Thank you. Your piece is hanging and sharing a space with photos and letters of some of the men and women "over there". A nice added touch.I hope many stop to read as they pass by.Your photo is right there on top side to give you credit. best marty |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Becka, thank you again, my friend. Writing for people like you is a pleasure  Marty, what can I say? This is a great honor you have given me and I'll not forget it. Thank you so very much! (hope my pic doesn't scare them away!) |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Balladeer: Never worry, my 35 yesar old daughter said you are a nice looking man. So there! marty |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
I read your poems and see your heart beneath that sunny facade. Incredible write, Mike....seems like a lame comment, but this one overwhelms me. It touches too close to home for many, and somehow I have a feeling it is very close to you. Hugs ~ Karen ~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
