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Open Poetry #42
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The Danger of the Daisy Game
| Open Poetry #42 |
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The Danger of the Daisy Game |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Pluck a petal "He loves me" I held it up for scrutiny examining the subtleties made translucent in the light as if I could detect a flaw a shadowed hint's malevolence my concentration evident by my posturing of squint. I turned it over for survey-- Did he love me in that way? I watched the colors re-arrange. The edges yellowed with disdain. My fingers marred the delicate properties of velveteen. Bruises formed upon the sheen of perfection formerly-- love, that had been meant for me if only I had let it be... |
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| © Copyright 2008 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh just wow!! And in the ending....sigh~ |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
It's better to not pluck at it for proof?  love you and your writing. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
As always, loved your poem, and your unique handling of your interesting thoughts. I echo BluesSerenade's sigh at the last line. - Owl |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
I really enjoyed your rendering of this little gem. Love, joyce |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
poor little daisy all the times she's been plucked in the name of love  your a regal flower serene one |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
WOW!! great poem.. even thow it wasnt funny.. I loved your twist on this... plus it didnt have to be... just what came to your mind first Krysti |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you hunnie! I actually hadn't read your entire thread, but just the "falling out of love" thing kept harping at me. So I knew that I wanted to do something very simple, and I knew going in the daisy game thing is a much maligned cliche', too. But I wanted to utilize it because it conveys innocence and simplicity... I had fun writing this--even though it doesn't sound like I did. *shrug* It just feels good to write "in my head" again. So I appreciate the inspiration, and the ever generous encouragement from all of you who replied. and laughing @ mish...sometimes love can be a mean little plucker, eh?  Love, (the kinder variety) to all!  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: I feel serenity in this one ... the daisy does its part by sacrificing itself to doubting hearts. A pure act of love. Enjoyed this much. Love, Margherita  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Sometimes we don't know when to leave well enough alone... and sometimes, if we're lucky, we put our life to poem...  |
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Edgewise Junior Member
since 2008-03-23
Posts 19Chicago |
You definitely touched upon something universal here I think. A sort of social butterfly effect, where every little action we perform has bearing on the outcome of an aspect of our lives. Good rhythm and ambiance. Kudos. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you sure know how to put an ending out! love this! |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...Love the connection between the Daisy and love. sweetly innocent...Paul The game of love filled with flowers chocolates and cliche's hopes, plans and dreams hearts on display Petals of he loves me he loves me not's gentle touch upon the skin dreams and smiles vanish upon the gentle wind of yesterday ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ Paul |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Serenity this poem is just what I needed at the moment.. Wonderful write!! ~Zach~ "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb....,"he murmured. "What a stupid lamb," I sighed. "What a sick, masochistic lion." |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
In a whole meadow of beautiful flowers, there is always one, that stands out from the rest. Sometimes it is better to just let it be, and admire it from afar. Wonderful ending. Great job dear poet! Rich |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
This was beyond intelligent. Perfection? ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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