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succubus
| Open Poetry #40 |
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succubus |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. because . . . perhaps being unable to stand the light she seeks to come in the last dead nothing hour before the rooster crows slipping silently now into a darkened bed for the love she never knew or had hip to spectral hip caressing with phantom tongue for after all. . .in the end . . . what did straitlaced mortal morality finally ever gain her beyond the eternal yearning for a little sin . |
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| © Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
Huan Yi This is extremely powerful poetry taking us into the mind of the entity who practices this foul deed. I have had experience in trying to remove such tormentors from places and people they invade and too date have never felt sympathy for anyone but the victim. You may have given me a different approach in this and help me to stretch my understanding into the same realms as within my other rescue work. Again, to me a mere rhyming poet, I have found poetry of the deepest kind within your words, Namaste Ivor |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Ivor, Thank you, I checked the archives and didn’t find this so I decided to post it as it is among those that my mind goes back to more often than most which makes it a candidate for submission for view on the site of the Illinois State Poetry Society to which I belong, (they took me which means they’ll take anyone, their membership is national, and they’re pretty active up here with mailings, meetings and readings none of which I attend; for 15 bucks you can’t go wrong) . I wanted to see how others responded to it before the March 19th window, (I’ve already submitted “It” for the current one), before I pursued the thought further. As to the subject, I should confess I, as a matter of principle, don’t personally have much faith in such things being more than tricks of the mind; I would be glad, however made afraid, to be convinced there was something which would then open up all sorts of more agreeable possibilities. Thanks again John . |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sometimes a poem goes beyond. I know that's a lame way to say it, but it's the best description I have. Beyond. Beyond imagery into dimension, dimensions moving beyond their sum toward a culmination that is inevitable, but impossible before the poem was written. Looking back at this, I see I didn't really capture it....so it's back to openers for me -- "beyond" will have to do. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
slipping silently now into a darkened bed for the love she never knew or had Of all the possibilities I thought of when I saw this title, I never expected to experience sympathy. *S* Excellent write! *S* |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this was richly textured, into an alarminginly blue tasteing elixir, with a black hooded crime...so sad, so extremely sad, yet, profound writing sir |
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