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Teen Poetry #8

retreat

penguin5
Junior Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 21
Washington

0 posted 2007-12-19 04:46 AM

All that exists, is my mind.
These hapless arms these boney legs
And this swollen face are not me!
I am a creature, of the night.

Smoke it snort it
Shoot it f*** it all
My body does not contain me
And I reach beyond,
And see through its veil

Those who know me;
Only know themselves
For they are me.
And I, them.

We are the children of the night.
And Today we are emancipated.

…and my face afire
and my bones hurt
and my face wet
and my friend, my-self is gone.

I have gone nowhere.
I have not left this room.
All I have seen were just chemicals
Showing me what really wasn’t there.
I scream but nobody wants to hear.
All my friends are screaming too.
I must escape this end
To a circle built fear
You can escape through your mind
For in this world
All that exists, is my mind.

penguin5
Junior Member

since 2006-05-16

Posts 21
Washington

1 posted 2007-12-19 04:47 AM

please do not be afraid to leave any feedback you wish. How can we get better without criticism eh?

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

2 posted 2007-12-19 05:34 AM

i really like it

something thats stupid but works isn't stupid

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

3 posted 2007-12-19 09:41 PM

the only thing I can criticize about this poem is that it wasn't posted in the dark poetry forum....its so good I just wish more people could have the opportunity to read it....thanks penguin. p.s. I couldn't help myself so I posted a link to this poem in the dark poetry forum.

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