Open Poetry #39 |
When Lady Cries |
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
The heavy grey of day rolled in cold to leave bones aching as coffee steam swirled in small puffs consumed by mists, the world, empty save the dark sky, belly rumble with thunder eyes for he alone sees when lady cries. |
||
© Copyright 2006 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Gosh, yer good! You just keep on getting better and better! May the sun come out to brighten your day, Dear Donna! Loves 'n hugs, Linda |
||
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms gs, storms are more lovely when you pen them |
||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I agree with Dark.... You almost write like he does....and that is a neat thing!!! |
||
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
outstanding Donna! this poem lives and breathes |
||
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"the world, empty save the dark sky, belly rumble with thunder eyes for he alone sees when lady cries." Donna, I like this personification very much...I'll never think of the "belly rumble" thunder in the same way now. ...jo |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
... and when she cries, shining streams runnel her cheeks; he can barely hear her breathing, but he can see her shoulders shuddering, and he, too aches, fearful of approaching, of feeling the cold without stepping outside, so he watches as the steam rises and the salty rain drips into her cup. ~*~ See what you do when you inspire? |
||
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
you all touch me with your responses and replies, you are so kind, thank you. Kari....ah.....so glad that I could inspire something so very beautiful.... Barry... thank you...indeed a compliment.... |
||
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
For some reason...this made me sad...maybe it was - "For alone he see's.." Idk, that line seemed significant to me...idk..But this was good. Luvs. "My soul is adrift in oceans of madness |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |