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Open Poetry #39

anger

Artofmark
Junior Member

since 2006-07-12

Posts 41

0 posted 2006-10-05 10:36 PM

smile in my face
and laugh beyond my back
for it is your heart
I shall ransack
Cleave it from thine bossom
and smile upon your dispatched limbs
the sky crimson and clouds cluster
as the ground beneath thy feet
for the strength I muster
to do what must be done
purge ones flith and see thy luster
and quaff only the pure
and awake to new a sun

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

1 posted 2006-10-10 07:24 PM

An intersting rant...me, I just let it go.
Regards,
INclan

JLHunter
Senior Member

since 2006-10-08

Posts 557
CA United States

2 posted 2006-10-11 05:10 AM

Hi, Artofmark.

Nice form, and good word choice and rhymes, though it is a bit dark and disturbing. Purging does help sometimes--as long as it is only on "paper."

John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

CraigM
Junior Member

since 2006-10-05

Posts 13

3 posted 2006-10-11 08:14 AM

I would like to say nice imagery but its not nice but i think thats what you were trying to achieve. Good use of words and a little disturbing but well written.

Craig

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