No, I don't want your offers
on things I might like.
I have so much junk mail
I'm drowning in the tide!

I don't want cheap medication
or this and that preparation.
And while I do like to read its true
I'll not read books by god knows who!

I don't need a suit for my cat
nor a siren to keep out bats.
I do not want the time in Rome
on day glow clocks within my home!

Please, when you pick up that stack
of catalogues and mismatched tat
don't dare write that address of mine
just shove 'em where the sun don't shine!

I'm annoyed I'm forced to resort to smut
but put it where that monkey put his nut!
Yes, that's right, ram it up your.....