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Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

0 posted 2006-10-01 11:35 PM

People ask me if you’re dead
Because not a word of you is ever said
I say you might as well be
For you I never bother to see
You never really cross my mind
No remorse or love for you to find
My respect for you is nonexistent
With you I will always be aloof and distant
I can’t say whether you make me want to laugh or cry
You don’t even know how to look me in the eye
You laugh at me and call me scum
Rattling off words that leave me feeling
Defeated and numb
You say that you won’t deal with me again
And all I have to say to that is “amen”
For I’ll never give you the light of day
I hope far from me you’ll always stay
Such a “godly” man you turned out to be
I hope you have as much to answer for as me
Not sure how it all went bad
But all I have to say to you is
I hate you dad

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

1 posted 2006-10-01 11:39 PM

Don't hate just yet!
(I know there are a lot of good dads out there)

But you know the old saying walk a mile in someone else's shoes...

You know how you get so angry that you start seeing stars? That's how i feel when I think of my father. Tears of pure anger seem to pour down my face without my realizing it.

If this offends ANYONE I'll take it down.

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

2 posted 2006-10-02 12:05 PM

It does not offend me in the slightest. Besides if you offend with your work then you are probably doing something right!

"You laugh at me and call me scum
Rattling off words that leave me feeling
Defeated and numb
You say that you won’t deal with me again
And all I have to say to that is “amen”"

I know the feelings very well. I am sure many of us can relate to this poem, I know I do. I too have had my father wash his hands of me. I think it is one of the worst things you can hear from a parent along with the words "I'm dissapointed in you"

Can you tell how much I liked this?

I also would like to say I do not think you are in need of constructive critiques.

Thanks for sharing,

"The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun."

One God by The Beautiful South

sewasham
Senior Member

since 2006-09-11

Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2006-10-02 12:16 PM

Sometimes it helps to get your feelings out in your writing. Your Dad is missing out on some very precious times. Very well expressed. Take care and Have fun. Steve

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

4 posted 2006-10-02 01:32 AM

I have a wonderfull dad and you have not offended me at all, i believe your best poetry arises from your feelings and with that i am so very greatful that you shared this with us.

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

5 posted 2006-10-02 03:35 AM

I'm surprised and happy you liked!

(A couple of my favorite poets commented on my poem!)

This really wasn't something all that good though. In all honesty it kind of feels dirty to me since I put all my fury into it. (Even though it may not show to the world)

My dads a sore spot for me but I thought if I could get used to talking about him than I'd be able to deal with my feelings better.

Hugs and Hershey bars for you all!!!

dingusjr
Member

since 2003-09-24

Posts 415
Missouri

6 posted 2006-10-02 06:30 AM

No one...no one..should be treated like you were treated. Really sad poem.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2006-10-02 09:57 AM

Gosh, girl! You certainly know how to vent! ~ and very well at that!

It saddens me that you do not know the joys of a loving father-daughter relationship. The anger that you have been harboring for your father needed to be be released or you would have 'busticated'. You released a lot of fury with this empassioned write.

One does not know what another has endured until they have walked a mile in their moccasins. I have the distinct feeling that I would not have liked to have walked this particular path. It is such a shame that you have not been appreciated for the gem you truly are.

Giving you a big, warm, compassionate hug,
EA

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

8 posted 2006-10-02 03:28 PM

Your're hugs
(and kind words)
Are always welcome Earth Angel!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

9 posted 2006-10-02 06:12 PM

Now that you have gotten some of your
feelings out....try something.... Look
at how your father behaves and see if
there is anyone else that behaves very
similar to him.... You might be very
surprised when you start looking close.

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