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Open Poetry #39
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Letter To "ThisDiamond"--A Poet's Dream...
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Letter To "ThisDiamond"--A Poet's Dream... |
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marcel Senior Member
since 2003-03-02
Posts 660az, usa |
Beyond the Windows Frost Within this soul of sadness there is a flicker of happiness Waiting for these long mornings to one day end… I have written countless letters to you, To strengthen the faith we promised to our souls; But I fear the silence of the fallen pen Because it means we will never sleep again… I want to toss this rope of life into forever And pull until the optimism of my hope grows weary; But loose has been the luck of my noose over the years When I have used the many thin threads of memory and pain To delicately sew together the distance of our past--- A past that gives the stars a reason to smile… The streaks of violet and chartreuse you see in the skies Are my sweet thoughts that I present to your dreams, Flowers of innocent lust and emotional need; A gift from my heart to your heart, As you sit on the edge of your eternity… Marcel |
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| © Copyright 2006 keith marcel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Dang, this is absolutely beautiful! What a love letter  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"A past that gives the stars a reason to smile" ~ How lovely is that?!? ~ VERY  Actually, the entire love poem is lovely!  EA |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I linger in the long hall between reticent and starvation. Listening to a voice calling softly...guiding me back to the open door. Thank you for writing this beautiful letter. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
But I fear the silence of the fallen pen ~*~ Oh please, don't ever let it fall... such a beautiful letter! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Very nicely done Keith... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WOW!! This IS beautiful!!  ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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themute Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469Maryland |
i would like to give some suggestions to make your future writings better, your use of rhyme is ineffective and unorgonized in the first two stanzas, your use of paradox is lacking, addtitionally your flow throughout is jarring and sudden; its changing in each line, and even in the middle of some. once again, these are intended as constructiv as your actual message is unique and well imagined on paper. I am the two-toed wanderer |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
What a love letter!!! |
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