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Open Poetry #39

Drifting....

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2007-01-03 01:26 PM

at one time we were close
as one,
inseparable
they always saw us together
in happiness, in pain

then you started drifting apart
slowly, almost imperceptibly
the distance between us increased
till people around would pause
and notice your absence

nothing I could do -
you had new friends
and partied
where I no longer
could return

sometimes,
when a young beauty
smiles at me,
I recall the times
we were one...

yet, I have no regrets:
you left me good memories,
and tokens of your stay
visit me at times,
bringing you...

CG

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

1 posted 2007-01-03 04:23 PM

If this is a true poem, you write yourself as the castle...unable to move on while the other comes and goes. It's well written but the image you present is one of statis, if that's the case you could look at yourself and see why it is so.

a good commitee can decimate communication.

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

2 posted 2007-01-03 04:51 PM

Kethry,

Thank you for commenting. Perhaps I made it too "loose", but the poem is about getting older, i.e. drifting away from "youth".

CG

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

3 posted 2007-01-03 05:34 PM

Interesting write

Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

4 posted 2007-01-03 09:44 PM

excellent CG

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2007-01-04 07:43 AM

some things are inevitable *sigh*

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

6 posted 2007-01-04 08:01 AM

incredible
lovely
and very well done

could feel the yearning, the almost missed times, yet the mature understanding of the why's

simply marvelous

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

7 posted 2007-01-04 05:48 PM

Thank you for the kind comments - much appreciated.

CG

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