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Open Poetry #39
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Cotton Sails Mahogany
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Cotton Sails Mahogany |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
You sit crossed-legged in the middle of the room Reading me Cotton on mahogany Knowing all along I intend to verse these passions Into the sea where I hope they will Conjure up a current strong enough To carry you to me You smile Taking in the industrious nature of it all Knowing that your sails are set For cross winds that even now Seem to foil My best attempts Are breathless whispers of airless air And the room grows larger Till you are far away Sailing toward some distant shore Carried breathlessly Cotton sails mahogany [This message has been edited by Robert Frazier (09-14-2006 08:22 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Robert Frazier - All Rights Reserved | |||
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burntsiena Junior Member
since 2006-08-10
Posts 34Rhode Island |
I enjoyed the mix by the end of the poem - the metaphor of ships at sea really cover the distance the speaker feels yet still point to the inevitability of the collision. The beginning I felt like the whole idea was kind of forced yet towards the end, like I said, there was something about the poem that I grew fond of. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"And the room grows larger Till you are far away Sailing toward some distant shore Carried breathlessly Cotton sails mahogany" My favorite part^^ I liked the metaphor of ships a lot, it's something I would never have thought of, because to me ships are kind of common place, living on the shore n stuff. Yet, when I see them used like this it's kind of eye opening, I think that it was a great idea for this poem. Thanks for sharing!  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful..a very special piece. Hugs~Nancy Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
exquisite poem Robert... and this line intrigues me "Cotton on mahogany" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Robert, what can I say? This is so beautifully sad... all that distance in the same room... each following their own needs and desires... a nice take on two crossing ships... but the word play of cotton on mahogany... well, that just trims my sails.  |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
I have to agree with burntsienna. I thought the beginning was forced for the metaphor of the ocean or feeling of the sea but by the time you reach the middle section of the poem, it comes together quite well and the growing sense of seperation becomes apparent. |
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