Got a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket

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Open Poetry #39

Got a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket

Draugluin
Junior Member

since 2006-12-08

Posts 48
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2006-12-17 12:06 PM

“Got a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket”

Got a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket,
Feeling rather cool,
As you approach...
Perfectly on time again.

Got my old ripped jeans on,
Too cool to fix.
Hey, she’s on the run,
Must be the other fools.

Out of the front door I go,
Arriving late,
I open the door to an empty room,
In my paisley shirt, I look so good.

So good, no one can see,
A mirror come hither, stare
Feeling rather cool,
Time to make her care.

Got a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket!
She’s on time again,
Givin’ her the stare and feelin’ rather cool,
As she walks away...

I think it can be said
Her love is in my head
But perhaps someday
She may not walk away!

And so I keep a flip top pack of cigarettes in my pocket!

[This message has been edited by Draugluin (12-18-2006 06:18 PM).]

marcel
Senior Member

since 2003-03-02

Posts 660
az, usa

1 posted 2006-12-18 03:14 AM

dang, this was a cool write...i could picture it all, and could feel the moments leading up to the moment...........nicely done.

twinkyfl1
Member

since 2006-12-15

Posts 133
florida

2 posted 2006-12-18 09:50 AM

This was better than cool, you absolutely iced this.

Great imagery and flow, combined to make this a great write.

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

3 posted 2006-12-18 10:03 AM

I like it and I have to say you have got it now... I'm thinking you know what that means

"The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun."

One God by The Beautiful South

trutodaraiders
Senior Member

since 2006-12-02

Posts 820
CA

4 posted 2006-12-18 01:31 PM

*lights up a smoke* Kudos stirred my imagination on this write

Draugluin
Junior Member

since 2006-12-08

Posts 48
Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2006-12-18 06:15 PM

Thank you very much for reading this, i'll try again with another soon.

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