2 words of greatest sorrow

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amy76
New Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 6

0 posted 2006-12-13 04:59 AM

As i raised my heavy head
and opened my pad-locked eyes,
i spun.
Falling like a stone from the highest cliff.
tumbling down to the solid, unforgiving earth.

Staggered and unwilling,
his words had crushed my open heart.
As if pierced by his finely honed knife.
unable to control the spilling crimson.

and as the pools
of past memories,
form below that mortal wound.

i lay,
in a cloak of black light,
as my thoughts raced.
Scattered, and uncontrolled.

Yet my mind found one...
as i waned out of reality
and into the growing pools.

The twinkle of golden stars
kissed the moon lit sky.
beating with the summers breath,
that ran through
the leafs of all.

as he was on his way.

Paniced.
as I brushed the fine paints
with precise careful strokes,
on to soft, delicate, pale skin.
exposing.
radiating.
the hidden inner beauty.
masked by its outer shell.

And then i heard...
that knock at my door.
the vibrations from each
unbound my weak stomach.
more and more...

untill.
it finaly dropped,
desending.
into what seemed
a cataclysmal abyss.

but i made my way,
down those taunting,
unending steps.
to that menacing door.
Forlonging its awakening.

then with one slow turn,
that saftey gate fell down.

My eyes softened
and my lips pulled back.
revealing the hidden
shinning white.

Hoping for that same in return.

but i could not see.
blind!
from the things dancing inside...

then the shade
became clear.
as he stood,
with jaw dropped.

in stock and awe.
the deep blue,
brightened from my light.

silence...
but then broken.

Your Gorgeous he said.

The now stagnant pools began to ripple.
as i waxed back into reality,
That reality of which i loath.

And i began to once agian,
search unlit halls.
Wandering through those passageways,
looking for the door to where i went wrong.

And still i spun.
falling back
off that same cliff.
tumbling down
that same ravine.

To nothing that has realy changed.

but now.
the trickle.
of a newly formed stream,
meanders down rough cold flesh.
falling into the ocean of the crimson pools.

That flesh.
That flesh that once glimmered,
and went unscared.
is now as white,
and fridged.
as old fallen snow.

Socketed with
deep.
dark.
dead.
non-existant eyes.

But what for?
i question.

To be answered with...

Sorrow.
so great,
from only two
spoken words

We're Done...

This is my first real poem i have ever put real effort in, so bare with me. I would love to hear your feed back.

thanks amy

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

1 posted 2006-12-13 05:06 AM

Amy... I took my time to read this beautiful work of yours... I believe you are a real poet and I applaud your work

RDB

Draugluin
Junior Member

since 2006-12-08

Posts 48
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2006-12-13 02:53 PM

Um, great work. this poem opens a window that gapes right into a person's (yours?) soul. I liked your use of analogies to divulge all those twisting emotions. It's a rather long work, but rewarding, and worth the read (I find as a general rule long pieces like this had better offer up some real insight to the patient reader). And I think you did present a certain feeling very well here, one that I'm sure many have felt before...which makes the work revant. GJ.

amy76
New Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 6

3 posted 2006-12-13 06:25 PM

thanks alot for the responces. I no its long and that probly scares people away from it. So thanks you agian for reading it. Oh, yes it is from the soul

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2006-12-14 06:36 PM

Enjoyed...James

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