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Open Poetry #39
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trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA

0 posted 2006-12-06 12:11 PM



We walked for hours, hand in hand,
With yellows, reds and gold.
The tree lined streets and dappled light,
Alone in love we strolled.

We laughed for hours, hand in hand,
The two of us as one.
The setting sun with crimson sky,
Your heart at last was won.

We talked for hours, hand in hand,
Your face my only view.
The moon above reflected love,
For I wanted only you.

We sat for hours, hand in hand,
We drank from each other's cup.
My life sublime 'til the end of time,
But sadly; I woke up.

I sat for hours, alone and sad,
With thoughts and dreams I knew.
With wishes of what could have been,
If asleep I'd stayed with you.

Poetry is just the evidence of life.
If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. "
Leon Cohen~



© Copyright 2006 Bill Franklin - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2006-12-06 12:14 PM


ah but you're awake dear Bill and with us you share such beautiful words... we are the lucky ones!   RDB
themute
Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469
Maryland
2 posted 2006-12-06 12:24 PM


this sounds like me about a year or so ago, you should try sonnets to improve your ability to write in rhyme, and meter--not saying it's bad just a tip for improvement. also, you should try rambling alot and thinking alot about how you feel, and trying to put that feeling down on paper; expression of feelings is poetry.

P.S. try this such structured poem after mastering expression.

I am the two-toed wanderer

trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA
3 posted 2006-12-06 02:02 AM


I have written Sonnets. About 10 good ones and about 300 bad ones. I feel I found myself blocked, writing bad free verse, trying to repress the iambic pentameter which seemed to infuse every line I concocted. Thank you for your Insight mute. It is greatly appreciated.

"He is a fool which cannot make one sonnet, and he is mad which makes two. John Donne~

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
4 posted 2006-12-06 04:20 PM



enjoyed the stroll with you so much Bill
fit my mood perfectly

love the Donne quote!


trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA
5 posted 2006-12-06 04:43 PM


Thank you lady. hehe I love Donne. I actually laughed years back when I read this quote. First time i tried a sonnett I was pulling my hair out. Have you read my rose must fade? Any insight?
Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

6 posted 2006-12-06 04:47 PM


A dream vividly told..thank you..

Goldenrose

At the touch of love, everyone becomes poets. Plato 427 BC-348.

trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA
7 posted 2006-12-06 04:49 PM


Thank you Goldenrose.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2006-12-06 05:09 PM


Enjoyed...James
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2006-12-06 06:07 PM


Oh yeah, back to sleep I go, I'm with you there..
Sandra

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