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Open Poetry #39
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ICY CHILL
| Open Poetry #39 |
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ICY CHILL |
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stevepoet Junior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 46 |
the air is cringingly cold to live out here you must be amazingly bold the green is fading save for the astroturf field still remaining the color I pick for this scene is white absent are the colors that might have had meaning Im seeing, a fleeting exsistence people struggling through, relying totally on persistence resistance, to the cold is all we can do to withstand through dont let it overstand you |
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| © Copyright 2006 stevepoet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I truly liked the words you chose to rhyme...interesting and there was a nice flow to the piece. I think for the reader, it would be easier to follow in a slightly different format... That sounds small, but it's huge in how a poem is read. Perhaps condensing your style into shorter sentence lines...breaking at the power of the pause...those words that have impact to the ear...and center the text. Nicely done. TD  |
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Angel4aKing Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372USA |
I am sure your words reflectr many others feelings.....nice write kingsangel |
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