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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #39 |
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Death Shall Come |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA 
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Death shall come... and please my saddened heart, For loneliness is the hell I no longer wish to face. Should I suffer life, eternal and the agony it imparts, Or welcome death - and upon my family bring disgrace? Death shall end my suffering, the pain I feel within, Bring calm to the fight that warps my weary mind. Be I gone to God or Hades and I will pay for all my sins, For no comfort will I seek... and no comfort shall I find. Death shall lone my spirit... release the pain I hold, And I'll face my God and the suffering He shall mete. If God should turn his back and his love is deathly cold, Life could still have meaning... if I'd felt your love - my sweet. Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bill Franklin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
life goes on even if love is not in it... this was well written ... sad but well written Welcome to Passions! Be well Roniece |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Thank you. Life still goes on after lost love your right. I appreciate your comment. Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nice entrance! welcome to Passions! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Highly reminiscent of Donne, well done! I saw nothing on the first read to "sugar" the Welcome that I impart to you, so please, See your Email for a Very Special Greeting! |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
That You for the gretting card. My printer is blazing away. That was very nice! Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
ahhhh... well done Bill those last two lines are stupendous! welcome! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Quite welcome, I'm sure. It is a wonderful feature, and I hope you might use it in your time at PiP.  |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Thank you for the warm welcome |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Yes, it is a sad write but perhaps life has more meaning than we can imagine if we feel love in our own hearts! Welcome to PIP! |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Thank you for your feedback honey!! |
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themute Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469Maryland |
This is fair, but one thing that got to me was your juxtaposition of hades and god, unintentional or no, because if no it's something you should consider. I am the two-toed wanderer |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Yes I did this on purpose in my opinion a juxtaposition happens when two images that are otherwise not commonly brought together appear side by side. I believe God And Hades are not uncommon. There is a conjunction between god and hades. The poem wouldnt have worked anyother way or so I think Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
trutodaraiders, Each life is a trip to death. Welcome aboard. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Life encompasses our entire being through knowing love...even though a love is lost, yours is not, and it sure is awfully nice, to know, that we loved and were able to love as God wishes us to, so nothing is lost, and our lives will forever be complemented by that love, if we understand and allow it. Hugs to you for a heartfelt write. Welcome to Passion |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Extremely melodramatic and that's what makes it work so well. Lost love or unreturned passion certainly creates a sadness within us unmatched by other emotions but it takes a poet, and a good one, to portray it in such a panoramic way without making it sound maudlin or trite. You have done that admirably. Hats off and welcome  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Wonderful entrance post. Welcome to pip. No sugar coating, this piece is very well done Bill. Much enjoyed, and will be looking forward to more. |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
Thank you Lee J, Balladeer, Gentle Spirit I look forward to your Constructive Critiques, I believe I have 6 poems posted thus far. Seymour I also agreee. Thank you all for your kind words, and I look forward to reading more of your writes as well. Poetry is just the evidence of life. |
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