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Open Poetry #39
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Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma

0 posted 2006-11-19 12:41 PM


Crumpled Shoe Box

With a raunchy rank whiskey stench
He downed memories on the rocks
The thing he'd always hugged tautly
He placed in a crumpled shoe box

Walked a lost lifetime of loving
Across a barren field in time
To the south end of the pasture
Next to an ageing crippled pine

Took his favorite reflection
A long ago image that's morphed
And dug a shallow eerie grave
Under the twisted lonely dwarf

He tore heartsick from his clutches
Lowered the makeshift casket down
Molded the earth into a mound
Sealed the tomb with a gloomy frown

Set a limestone as the headstone
Then kneeled a solemn statuesque
Mumbled a prayer without breath
In the shadow of the grotesque

Tried to tell this sad sad story
As very best as best can blurt
But words are a fleeting whisper
In a buried coffin of hurt

Omnia vincit amor

TP

© Copyright 2006 Pressie - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2006-11-19 12:57 PM


Tried to tell this sad sad story
As very best as best can blurt
But words are a fleeting whisper
In a buried coffin of hurt


I loved all of this Pressie, and have to say that this ending is perfect.  Indeed, sometimes we need to bury the hurt,
so we can get on with the happy.
Enjoyed your thoughts here today, Pressie.  


seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
2 posted 2006-11-19 01:08 PM



"sometimes we need to bury the hurt,
so we can get on with the happy."

Amen to that dear!

Thank you Gentle Spirit for sharing your thoughts on my poem.

Carpe Diem!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2006-11-19 01:21 PM


a fine poem

I agree with Gentle Spirit here

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2006-11-19 01:27 PM


Yep, sometimes that is what we must do to
continue on....and sometimes that is a very
difficult thing to do...

Good story, liked it...thanx

wredgranny
Member
since 2006-11-18
Posts 493
Ky. USA
5 posted 2006-11-19 01:40 PM


Walked a lost lifetime of loving
Across a barren field in time
To the south end of the pasture
Next to an ageing crippled pine

Siyo Pressie I saw something here that was haunting beauty,reminded of my grandfather after the loss of my grandmother nearly sixty five years they share a path of love,laughter,and the deepest pain as they bury five of their ten children.Lost he walked for five years more,then kneeling at her place whisper I join you soon beloved!


  granny!

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
6 posted 2006-11-19 01:46 PM


"and sometimes that is a very
difficult thing to do..."

Your absolutely right...saying it doesn't make it so, but the "longest journey starts with....

Thanks Magnus for sharing time ... being kind.

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
7 posted 2006-11-19 01:52 PM


Thanks ps and granny!

This place is becoming an addiction.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
8 posted 2006-11-19 03:17 PM


I agree with the others Pressie
often we need to bury the hurt
and I love this poem

embrace your addiction
it only gets worse...
or maybe I mean better
    


Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
9 posted 2006-11-19 05:11 PM


Thank you fair Lady for the kindness!

Vis-a-vis embracing addiction: Isn’t there a law somewhere against having too much fun?

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2006-11-19 06:12 PM


Yes, 'tis a sad, sad story ~ and you told it very well, Monsieur Raconteur!

Welcome to pipTalk! I hope you have more tales up your Poet sleeves.

Giving you a warm, welcoming hug,

Earth Angel

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
11 posted 2006-11-19 07:17 PM


Earth Angel

Yes, it is a personal story, and one that I  literally did do....

Thank you for the very kind and eloquent welcome.

Aquila non captat muscas

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2006-11-19 07:45 PM


Learning that it was a personal story makes your story all the more compelling and moving.

God bless you,
EA



amberhues
Member
since 2006-11-01
Posts 93

13 posted 2006-11-19 09:14 PM


I agree with GS, and all of the others.  Thank you for having the courage to share your story, this was wonderful.
Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
14 posted 2006-11-19 10:48 PM


amberhues,

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem!



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
15 posted 2006-11-20 11:23 AM


I could tell by a comment you made on another's poem that I must experience one of your pieces. I am so glad I did. This is filled to the brim with emotion, nostalgia, and put-away pain. A wonderful solution, surely, to moving on. I especially like the phrases "hugged tautly" and "...blurt"

Loved this, Pressie!

VAS

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
16 posted 2006-11-20 12:44 PM


VAS,

Thank you very much for those encouraging words!

May the wind always be to your back:

This is, unless your on a Harley.

dum spiro, spero

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
17 posted 2006-11-20 01:54 PM


This is a very heartfelt piece. Much enjoyed and placing this into my library.
hugs, Chris

by your pic, it seems that you might love to be "in the wind." My hubby has an 88 Softail - it's freedom!

sewasham
Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA
18 posted 2006-11-20 01:59 PM


Nice job Pressie. Sometimes you just have to let things go. Take care and Have fun. Steve


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2006-11-20 02:06 PM


Pressie, I always read you but not always have the time to reply.
Just wanted you to know how very much I enjoy your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

Autumn, the year's last loveliest smile~
                                    

Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
20 posted 2006-11-20 02:30 PM


Nightshade

"by your pic, it seems that you might love to be "in the wind." My hubby has an 88 Softail - it's freedom! "

Cool!

Here I am on my 2000 Heritage Softail:

/pip/Forum96/HTML/002145.html

Nightshade, Steve, and Enchantress:

Thank you fellow lovers of verse for the more than kind remarks!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2006-11-20 03:41 PM


Pressie....It's not easy to tell a poem like this without sounding...hmmm, sentimental's not the word...anyway...this is really good writing.  You caught me in the emotional pull and took me with you easy.  Thanks!  
Pressie
Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 157
Oklahoma
22 posted 2006-11-20 04:32 PM




"You caught me in the emotional pull and took me with you easy."

Martie

The write seemed to flow with the emotional current, I just tried my best to hang on to the oars.  

I've never been involved with an online community that I felt more at home in.

Thanks Martie and all!

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