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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #39 |
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laughing at me now |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Tell me again how these things are inscribed in stars of destiny how it is just what is and disappointments variant between the sheets of cotton blends screaming non-compliances in my sleep, confined? Tell me how I'm paranoid how my silences are void nodding neither yea nor nay but watching truth unfettering spaces that were awkward yet could not be disproved. You were my most valiant and you ran the gauntlet spry-- ducking weights of balances and traipsing plank of sea and dry grounding of a principle juggling perception of morality's fragility as if I would prefer a lie in denial of my eyes; I played the pretense on the harp-- and bid you my most fond adieu: "it just happened afterall" no one is to blame besides we were lonely poets then-- and poets dream denial. I wish I hadn't bought belief. I wish that I had stayed a scribe scribbling notations with parchment bleeding my relief-- pounding the percussion tease: the player spans the width of tithe to every prayer of despair: "Damn-you-damn-you-damn-you--I... wish I hadn't yearned for you howling like an animal I wish I never screamed my true trust into a vaccuum aching with the lack and blue of all I never knew of truth laughing at me now." |
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| © Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn if you don't have me thinking deep, I might not even be able to sleep |
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MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Wow. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen...forgive me if I tell you that I read this and cannot find the right words to reply.  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity Now that is a sigh to beat all sighs.  |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
hmmm...this sounds pretty serious...you better take two Willie Nelson songs and call me in the morning. I hope this was about a man because at least men are both disposable and interchangeable. |
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wredgranny Member
since 2006-11-18
Posts 493Ky. USA |
wish I hadn't yearned for you howling like an animal I wish I never screamed my true trust into a vaccuum aching with the lack and blue of all I never knew of truth laughing at me now." Usti Ulv(little sister)this troubles me in its sad beauty,our hearts are meant for love and caring and not the torture of unknowing.We women need no one to make us who we are,a love is only love when it is given in equal parts.True love never hurts but fills one with joy,is why grandmother say to me be strong enough to walk away if one does not give as much as they take,eh? blessings
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I used to suck down everything you wrote like a soul thirsting for only your words and their meanings... Now that I don't get around here as much as I used to I find that reading you is so much more powerful and fulfilling when I don't get enough. And to Granny's response? I think she (Karen) does know, that is why it hurts so much. *sigh* I think true love can be painful at times...we are only human. It's how we act and react to that pain that makes all the difference and sometimes we must wail.  love you lady. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Karen...damn, this was so brutally honest, it rings the pains of love, trying to understand, not just his reasoning, but yours as well. Though sad, this was outstanding writing girl....I'm sitting here shaking my head...Incredible You!!!! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Karen, like Martie, I am near speechless... |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Read, re-read, re-read.. speechless, couldn't think of anything to say. I love the last stanza. And your style, as always. I'm flying in on Wednesday. So, who knows. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
"Damn-you-damn-you-damn-you--I... wish I hadn't yearned for you howling like an animal I wish I never screamed my true trust into a vaccuum aching with the lack and blue of all I never knew of truth laughing at me now." Having "howled" this myself ... dear Karen you have reopened an old wound that I must contend with today. Hugging you, Chrislane |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, lady... this one leaves many things... but laughter isn't on that list. Powerful poem building to an incredible ending... My WOW is muffled by weep. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
serenity, You always do this to me! It isn't fair! I can never find the words to describe how your poetry affects me, but I'll try! Every word, an eruption at the precise moment that it should be born. Never too many, or too few; I almost stopped at the following because of the splendid use of poetic imaginery and action. The poem would move itself forward with just those, but your rhyme scheme is the icing on the cake. I like how you sometimes use the rhyming verses, but stray from them, as well. By doing this, I believe you are more able to control the emphasis, mood, and speed at which the poem is read in order to provide a reader like myself more think-time. Often I feel my predictable rhythmic pattern of some of the poems I write leads the reader through the poem in a gallop, thus causing them to miss some of the detail or little tricks I like to play. Yep, I like how you pace things! "You were my most valiant and you ran the gauntlet spry-- ducking weights of balances and traipsing plank of sea and dry" (I hope you don't mind me rapping on and on about things I don't know much about at all. I'm trying to figure this poetry thing out little by and by. I don't feel as awkward trying to respond to a method as I do to someone's personal experience or feelings.) Take care, miss serenityyyyy. See ya around again sometime. misc |
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Angel4aKing Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372USA |
I am not much for long poems but I really like this.... screaming non-compliances in my sleep, confined? as if I would prefer a lie in denial of my eyes My two favorite parts and they work together.. I have been here ~~~~Very good poem~~~~~ kingsangel |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
oh my! exquisite writing here and very much enjoyed. Be well Roniece You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.... stay strong! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Yep, what Roniece said, for sure. Hey, Ser, I like that new pic....and those glasses.....drama! Smooches......jojo |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I read this at work yesterday Karen, and couldnt reply from there so am glad I caught it again... *shakin my head* you amaze me lady, reading you is like quenching an insatiable thirst, and still always, always wanting more. Much enjoyed, K.  |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...Many thoughts to ponder here and many roads could be taken.I shall let my mind decide for it's self. If you need a friend to talk to i'm just an e mail away. I really believe this great write of yours may lead me to be inspired to write a poem awakened by you from that little place in my soul where they come from every now and then...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh my heavenly days. This pulls me in and at the last I feel like I'm the one writing it. Luckily I've kept my emotions wrapped in paper and ink and haven't let them out to play in the last 30 years. Otherwise I'd be bleeding. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I favored this poem by reading it in quiet sound. Immediately it pulled me in directions differently and I was in your room in your space and place and hurting over some loss that wasn't even kin to me. |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
like sunshine said....in your space and hurting...but mine and yours...related for sure... must have been first cousins or something...... but...gotta add my WOW WOW WOW oh girl can you write! |
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spiked4 Junior Member
since 2006-12-07
Posts 35Hammond, La |
seren, Been a long time since a can in and the first thing I read send me into a tailspin. well done |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
hey sweet serenity... just popped back for another read of this brilliant write of yours ! just wonderful! RDB |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you all for reading, although this one leaves me feeling queasy...I wish now, I hadn't posted it. Some things are better left screamed into the pillows. I do appreciate your comments, and I am sincerely sorry that so many of you could relate. I'll try to restrain from "howling" in the future. I'll prolly fail--but I'll try.  ? |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
noooooo,,,,,we love your howling Bella!! please continue! x RDB x |
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divine chaos Senior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 617dancing 'neath the moon |
serenity this is so sadly beautiful, it's the first i've had a chance to read here for a while and it sent me spinning .. it hits so close to home *sigh* thank you for sharing hon ~*Sheli*~ By words the mind is winged |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
we need to howl more. instead of getting in line to whatever we get in line for that keeps us from feeling. Love, Reg |
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