navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #39 » Waiting
Open Poetry #39
Post A Reply Post New Topic Waiting Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2006-11-14 07:55 AM


Rewrite:


Waiting

My arms extend in patient wait
In mental thoughts anticipate
Yet phantoms of these qualms of task
Are passing up my arms of ask

Those magic spirits mists of seem
Extrapolating every dream
Turning some finality
Into some reality

And though I bow to nonsexist
They pass me by in sore resist
And will not take me by the hand
And this I do not understand

I offer up my treasures trove
For it to stay a gardens grove
But nay they close the door on me
And cast me out on Sorrows Sea

And though the diamond stars are bright
They are too far this Eden’s light


© Copyright 2006 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2006-11-14 08:00 AM



Patience, poet, Patience...

all good things come
to them that write...








Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2006-11-14 08:12 AM


Sunshine,
Very cute dear sunshine.

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2006-11-14 11:12 AM


I say knock the door down!
Well done, Sy

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2006-11-14 11:13 AM


Interloper
Good idea, thank you.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2006-11-14 11:39 AM


Hold those arms up again Sy,
and I'll hug you!
Most excellent morning write.

Autumn, the year's last loveliest smile~
                                    

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2006-11-14 12:18 PM


Nancy,
And you are so huggable.

inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
7 posted 2006-11-14 12:28 PM


Kind Sir, they can not take your hand, for we are holding the other and will not let you go.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2006-11-14 01:19 PM


While waiting, you LIVE and LOVE and share your wonderful poetry ... and the stars and Eden are very tangible right there in your heart for all to see.

Beautiful.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2006-11-14 01:50 PM


inot2B
Could I ask for a better answer?

Margherita
Love and hugs back, thank you my dear.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2006-11-15 12:08 PM



what?
you don't like our hugs Sir Sy?
you looking someplace else?


secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
11 posted 2006-11-15 01:11 AM


As per usual pursuant to Seymour’s poetry,
in addition to this fine ‘write’ as a whole....
I will hugely enjoy thinking about specific
couplets for a VERY long time!...such as:

“Those magic spirits mists of seem
Extrapolating every dream”....

Is that truly grand or what?!!

Or:

“Yet phantoms of these qualms of task
Are passing up my arms of ask....

Let alone the power generated when
the two couplets above are slammed
together!.....amazing!!...I'm most assuredly impressed!



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2006-11-15 07:33 AM


LOL @ Loper


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2006-11-15 08:12 AM


Lady
No I want yours and everything else I can comprehend.

secondhanddreampoet
And I am impressed with your comprehension
and selections.

passing,
Yet you never pass me by.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
14 posted 2006-11-15 08:34 AM


Wonderful write Sy.
I especially liked "Loper's" comment!

Knock the door down!
TD

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
15 posted 2006-11-15 09:06 AM


ThisDiamond
I am pounding on the door now.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #39 » Waiting

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary