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Open Poetry #39

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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2006-11-03 08:26 PM

.

You hang
On a thin line
Between what was
And that below
Any observation

Suspended
From then
And soon to be
It doesn’t really matter
Who you think you are

A certain lassitude
Presses in
You twist in a world
Where there is no air

Whatever happens
Will happen
Regardless of what you do—

Without emotion
You wait for it
To arrive

.

© Copyright 2006 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2006-11-03 10:00 PM

I sure have missed reading you!

sewasham
Senior Member

since 2006-09-11

Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2006-11-03 10:29 PM

I enjoyed the images this created. Nicely done. Take care and Have fun. Steve

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

3 posted 2006-11-04 02:03 AM

I love your imagery. How you manage it with so little words. Well for me anyways.

-Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

[This message has been edited by Juju (11-05-2006 12:44 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2006-11-04 02:15 AM

I think, in this piece, using the pronoun "you" is projectional. (Just a hunch.

)

I really don't think you can de-personalize poetry though.

You can slip-stitch though, and it makes a nice neat hem...

Thanks for sharing John.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

5 posted 2007-04-20 01:49 PM

"Without emotion
You wait for it
To arrive"

who is "it"? the air? or

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