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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2006-10-26 11:55 PM

Sailor Bug

Just a bug on a leaf
on a stream, on a day,
watching the world
float away, float away!

I've got plenty to drink,
but I drink little sips,
'cause I"m scared at the edge
of my leaf when it dips.

In the middle I'm safe,
though it whirls like a discus;
it's so jolly to have
my own private meniscus,

And my leaf is so pretty,
red and orange and yellow
beats the brown of the ground:
I am one lucky fellow!

Two bugs here would be nice
but I'd better not think it,
we could have lots of fun
but I'm sure we would sink it.

So I'm tripping alone,
one-way too, I suppose,
and I'm bound for wherever
this little stream goes,

Just a bug on a leaf,
on a stream, on a day,
and I’m watching the world
go away, go away.

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

1 posted 2006-10-27 12:01 PM

I like this little bug, Ed
just watching the world go away

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2006-10-27 01:49 AM

cute

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

3 posted 2006-10-27 03:36 AM

A most unusual perspective told very, very descriptively from a bug's point of view;

I am always amazed at your ability to analyze
to the slightest detail and run with it in your poetry to create such interest.  As far as your constructive critique encouraged, "Hurt me!  Beat me!  Make me write bad checks!  I just can't get enough!",
sorry, I can't do any of that, but instead, must tell you I admire your creative thinking. I tend to read too much in to things, but I read sadness.  Hope I am wrong.
Have a good, yes...WEEKEND!  TG, we're finally there!

miscellanea

PoetrySinger
Member

since 2006-10-16

Posts 54

4 posted 2006-10-27 01:32 PM

yeah try again kiddie poems are not as cute

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2006-10-27 01:47 PM

Heh-heh-heh.....I'm gonna repost one of my kiddie poems, just for you......

WOOOP! There it is!
/pip/Forum96/HTML/001523.html

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______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2006-10-27 01:54 PM

lol at the happy sailor bug
and yes, gift us another special kiddie poem
just for mad mad Friday grins

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

7 posted 2006-10-27 01:57 PM

Happy....but he's thinkin'......

.....thinkin' "Oops..."

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______________Ratleader______________

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2006-11-17 02:28 PM

And when the master of free verse chooses to rhyme, he does so brilliantly! *S*

I agree with miscellanea... the more he declares his happiness and contentment, the more emptiness and yearning I read... more of the poet's brilliance. *S*

This is wonderful writing, my friend! *S*

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2006-11-21 11:55 AM

Ed....sorry I missed this before...eeek...I must have been a bug on a leaf passing in the night, eh? The metaphor is sad, but also not...seems in the end we are all just one being moving as best we can to wherever the river takes us. Loved this!!

Pressie
Member

since 2006-11-14

Posts 157
Oklahoma

10 posted 2006-11-21 12:05 PM

I've had the similar view,
but never the skill to brew
this wonderful depiction
of a bug and canoe.

Well done!

Omnia vincit amor

TP

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

11 posted 2006-11-21 05:56 PM

I like the sailor bug. Maybe he shouldn't have got on the leaf, but at least he can enjoy the ride.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

12 posted 2006-11-22 06:17 AM

very much enjoyed this write!

Be well
Roniece

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

13 posted 2006-11-22 06:57 AM

I love the way you examined this subject from the concave side of the miniscus...or should that be convex. Anyway I enjoyed the view and the ride.

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

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