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Grinch
Member Elite

since 2005-12-31

Posts 2929
Whoville

0 posted 2006-11-03 02:22 PM

The gutters groan, the dead leaf stew
Turns a torrent into meagre drips
When slate skies pour.

Remember how we spent that summer
Tottering on ladders giggling?
Risking broken bones and bruises,
With less time cleaning - more on tickling.
Springsteen blaring ‘Born to Run’
And us content to sit there listening
To the fools too busy leaving
To notice what they’re running from.

The snow-white walls bear orange stains
Where rust has painted tiger tails
From roof to floor.

It took all week to paint those walls
Between our bouts as Musketeers,
With self-inflicted crosses marked
And your white nose and dotted ears.
I’m sure D’Artagnan never wore
A skimpy skirt with high heeled shoes
Or bend or break fair swordplay rules
To kiss opponents in a clinch.

These rooms are boxes filled with nothing
It’s time to let the echoes die
On a long slammed door.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2006-11-03 03:14 PM

Very interesting write that left me with a meloncholy smile. Enjoyed. hugs, Chris

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2006-11-03 03:28 PM

~sigh~
tiger tailed memories
can still grab
the throat

enjoyed the 'leaf stew'

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2006-11-03 04:28 PM

"Or bend or break fair swordplay rules
To kiss opponents in a clinch."

en garde!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

4 posted 2006-11-05 05:35 PM

Liked the word play, and the vision of musketeers...
Bitter sweet memories, but good to remember the sweet...that's what should come with, when we move on.
Write it out.

Aeris Nicole
Junior Member

since 2003-08-18

Posts 21

5 posted 2006-11-05 05:38 PM

I really liked this,
it was very visual.
I liked the last part the most.....it was very emotional.

I totally felt it.

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

6 posted 2006-11-11 01:48 AM

I smiled and felt sad -- and enjoyed every word.

Thank you.
A

TomMark
Member Elite

since 2007-07-27

Posts 2133
LA,CA

7 posted 2008-01-07 12:05 PM

I call this was a natural poem flowed directly out to the screen.

"The snow-white walls bear orange stains
Where rust has painted tiger tails
From roof to floor."

Made my laugh.

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