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JLHunter
Senior Member

since 2006-10-08

Posts 557
CA United States

0 posted 2006-10-11 01:11 AM

Ice Princess

I felt the sharp, cold bite of winter’s chill.
As I gathered my coat around my battered pride,
I looked around for you, but you were gone.
I watched my breath coalesce
into little clouds of loss,
as if I was watching my self-esteem
methodically being squeezed
out of my pain-seared mind.

The day faded into a faint glow of neon.
Walking through the woods reminded me
how far off the beaten path I was--
in life, in love, and in search of a purpose
other than to cry you back home.
I thought, wryly, that the “beaten path”
was an appropriate metaphor for my life;
I was beaten…and I was on that path.

You knew that, alone, I was at my worst--
a self-destructive loner with a penchant for vodka.
Not the expensive, Russian kind,
but the cheap rotgut kind.
The kind of vodka that wasn’t even fit
to remove the sticky crap left behind
after I removed the bandages from my wounded ego.
But you never cared for anyone except yourself.

The realization that you were gone forever
slowly settled through my being
and landed firmly at my feet--
allowing me no further movement.
I was as frozen to this spot
as the dead face of winter over which I trod.
Knocked to my knees by the weight of my pain,
I sat back on my heels and waited to…die.

I consoled myself with a single thought;
you never took the time to get to know
how nice a guy I was, and missed out
on how beautiful you would have looked
on the pedestal--the one that I built to hold you
above the common folk such as me.
I would have given you my hopes, my dreams, my love,
my life, my everything and more, but that wasn’t enough.

All you had to do was to allow me into your heart.
I didn’t want anything from you but your love--
although a kind word would have been as a gift.
However, that was too much to ask of an ice princess.
You knew how to take, but never how to give--
a black hole to my love and kindness.
The coldness you radiated could frost a forest in summertime,
and form the icicles hanging heavy from your heart.

Where you went, I’ll never know,
but it was easy to see that in winter,
you could meld into a snow drift,
or glide across a frozen lake as does a wisp of wind.
What I was left with was an overriding sense of despair,
Prompting me to ask myself:
did I really love you that much,
or did I just hate myself even more?

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

1 posted 2006-10-11 09:15 AM

first off I love Pinky and the Brain

and second off I feel the chill to your words..I'm thinking about my ex when I read this..it hurts, tho he wasn't a nice guy and I gave him all..I kept on giving him second chances until I lost count...sorry home sick..I tend to ramble..but all I'm really trying to say is woah..

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

2 posted 2006-10-12 09:35 AM

What great imagery in these sad lines! Some people seem to just be takers, regardless of a givers situation or how much they've given. "Ice Princess" is a very fitting name for this work.

Rae

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

3 posted 2006-10-12 06:03 PM

earthy and just plain real
John

I like this...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2006-10-12 06:18 PM

My oh my..this really aches with longing John.
Extremely well done...fantastic imagery.
Hugs~Nancy

Autumn, the year's last loveliest smile~

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

5 posted 2006-10-12 06:26 PM

There is such power in this verse. Hard to stand up again and trust after.
Even harder to believe that someone that you love could be so cold.
Excellent write John.

JLHunter
Senior Member

since 2006-10-08

Posts 557
CA United States

6 posted 2006-11-02 04:58 AM

Hi, Ceinwyn.

Yes, Pinky and the Brain was great!

I am sorry to have stirred up such feelings, but then again, this is why I write. I know how you feel, though, as I have definitely been through these thoughts and emotions...more than once, too.

Thanks for writing,

John