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shirtless
Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 359

0 posted 2006-05-31 09:42 PM

the bars
are closed

and I
am too sober

snow
spits
against my windshield

the brittle woman
in the passenger seat
who spewed
fleshy fantasies
now drools
like a drunken
mannequin

the dashboard clock
is useless –
it has never been
this late

and for a night
to be this dark,
two suns
would have to set

http://anthonyarmstrong.zoomshare.com

[This message has been edited by shirtless (06-01-2006 10:51 AM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2006-05-31 09:45 PM

whoa...very stark images, very well defined...like a mini movie your words make the images pop...

cool

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2006-05-31 10:47 PM

whew too many memories of nights like those

glad they are long gone now

good expressive write here

Will Rhyme
Member

since 2006-05-22

Posts 149

3 posted 2006-05-31 10:49 PM

"and for a night
to be this dark,
two suns
would have to set"

CLAPPING!

Love this last stanza...GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

4 posted 2006-06-01 07:58 PM

LOVE how you've taken a common theme and presented it in a raw, honest and uniquely powerful way with your usual flair....Your talent continues to awe me!

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Ella Blue
Junior Member

since 2006-05-26

Posts 47

5 posted 2006-06-01 08:39 PM

Amazing, this makes me feel hollow. Like you've allowed us to look through a shaky 8mm cam at the sad predictability of humanity.

Robert Edward Levin
Junior Member

since 2006-06-01

Posts 45
can't remember. somewhere in midwest

6 posted 2006-06-02 07:12 AM

Brings back a few lousy memories, but only because you captured the moment so well. good write.

R~

www.robertedwardlevin.com

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

7 posted 2006-06-03 08:14 PM

Great read,the images I get are amazing as well.

Enjoyed the read.

:-)

Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace."

Albert Schweitzer,
Nobel Peace Prize Wi

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

8 posted 2006-06-04 04:40 PM

"the brittle woman
in the passenger seat
who spewed
fleshy fantasies
now drools
like a drunken
mannequin"

I absolutely HATE when that happens!

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