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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2006-08-17 08:06 PM

lure

feathers of the day spin like your scent in the breeze

this could call a hawk, but any bird will do today
even the docile broken geese, come-a-hobble,
mumbling along on their one-note symphony

our day’s a-whirl round around and all fall down

but you, not tame, not tame at all though not unbroken,
of them all you wheel and pause, wimple hesitant
at every shadow, over any mouse and twirling leaf

this red and yellow day, the grass and green water

while the bareback autumn sun, oh bareback
is the lure, but bare tears make the only sparkle
that won’t flail you skyward, singing distress

in the end it is my woundedness that draws you

and why, why, I want to ask, why come you down
for pain and scatter, terrified by joy? unanswering,
you do wheel down to me at last, penitent

and the day spins, held like your scent in the breeze

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-08-17 08:28 PM

oh, this sings!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

2 posted 2006-08-17 08:30 PM

oh now..

yes....I do Love this one.

absolutley wonderful writing,

sir....

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

3 posted 2006-08-18 02:16 AM

Enjoyed the read - thanks!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2006-08-18 08:59 AM

Jaime~
And after this poignant read ...
I have no question as to why the Hawk circles this day~
(In fact ... there are two on wing)
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2006-08-18 09:41 AM

Jamie

"this could call a hawk, but any bird will do today
even the docile broken geese, come-a-hobble,
mumbling along on their one-note symphony"

This reminds me of a very special day in a park not long ago....filled with imagery that only deep feeling makes.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

6 posted 2006-08-18 09:49 AM

not tame but not unbroken. What a great image that one is. And the whole thing -- the metaphor worked all the way through. This whole poem aches.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2006-08-30 01:23 PM

bare tears make the only sparkle
that won’t flail you skyward, singing distress

in the end it is my woundedness that draws you

and why, why, I want to ask, why come you down
for pain and scatter, terrified by joy? unanswering,
you do wheel down to me at last, penitent

Your scenes are so vivid... so poignant... This is absolutely incredible!!

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