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Open Poetry #38
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Fire
| Open Poetry #38 |
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Fire |
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David D Jerald Member
since 2006-08-07
Posts 74Tucson, Arizona 
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Fire There burns the fire deep in every sun -- Burning there till the fires done. The strength in starlight faraway -- Fire blazing lighting up the milky way. There burns the truth -- it will not hide. In our hearts the flame that burns inside -- Flickering meek as candlelight -- Or blazing burning bright. Fire flying burning through the sky -- The kind we wish upon and why -- These humble words it does inspire -- God may be our father -- But our Mother is the fire. David D Jerald 1998 |
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| © Copyright 2006 David D Jerald - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Beau de L'air Member
since 2006-08-03
Posts 105Middlesex, England |
There's a fire storm in every sun (better imho) The strength in starlight faraway --(sensational i.e. good!) Fire blazing lighting up the milky way. (dire) L9. Fire flying, burning bright --(may as well quote the master, Mr Blake, and is not a nerdy thing to do at all, quite the reverse. I've never done anything as good as this in the Blake vein, and I should like to have done.) L10. The kind we wish upon and why --( is pure magic! and it quotes a very, very deep nursery rhyme. Well done, it shows that your subconscious is ripping through time and space!) These humble words it does inspire --(dire, and delete before your poetry angel leaves you in disgust!) God may be our father -- ( could be better if it was less prosaic so it could go something like God eternal, shining light; (quotes a hymn) But our Mother tends the fire bright. ( echoes the burning bright quoted earlier and makes for a nicer wrap.) IMHO. BdL' I apologise in advance if you hate busy bodies. [This message has been edited by Beau de L'air (08-10-2006 02:26 AM).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
David~ I like the strength of this piece~ 'There burns the truth -- it will not hide. In our hearts the flame that burns inside -- Flickering meek as candlelight -- Or blazing burning bright.' The stanza I've copied above ... touches me at a complete level of comprehend~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Catrina Member
since 2004-11-10
Posts 132 |
Yes, just all the way through. A complete enbodiment of good reading... |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
There burns the truth -- it will not hide. to me and for me, this was the meat of your brilliant poem... the kind we wish upon and why...put my mind in a far away nice place....  Very much enjoyed this and your muse. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
There burns a fire deep in every sun a tremendous first line as is the entire piece Powerful write Liz |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Beautifully and divinely penned! Your closing lines were glowing!  "God may be our father -- But our Mother is the fire." Father and Mother Light, Earth Angel |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh, I really like that last line. And the last line is the one you I always remember. Well done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dave "There burns the truth -- it will not hide." Truth...such an easy word to say, yet to really be, see, do...not so easy...it does burn within, indeed. I liked the words and meaning in this poem.  |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Fire inspires me. It feeds my passion and nutures my soul. Good poem. Thank you, David. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
And fire YOU have -- I'll be watching for your work. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Well done! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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David D Jerald Member
since 2006-08-07
Posts 74Tucson, Arizona |
Thank all of you for stopping by and gifting me with your thoughts and words. I'm truly humbled. David D Jerald |
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