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Sole
Junior Member

since 2006-07-29

Posts 13
England

0 posted 2006-07-30 08:27 AM

The Light House

The light house, a statue of liberation.
A state of confinement which beams down below, to the sea.
The sea gaining its power from this state, tossing, turning, wave after wave.
Stone, a difference from water.
Hard, cold and damp to the bone of its construction.
The freedom swirls below,
The light house unable to understand its own freedom and capability.
Lonely the sea is, but yet visited everyday.
While the lighthouse looks down envious of the water,
The light house, its gift of liberation and unique obscured from view.

The water moving, infiltrating,
Its liquid gold essence catching the view of those passing by.
Water, a bodies friend, no one survives without it.
While the cold stone land mark bare unrecognised, proud and gifted to its surroundings.
The light houses diamond cut lens focusing on the clear cut visible, translucent sea.
The waters natural existents shines back mesmerising all around, from every angle.
The light house cold stone walls retract the on going mesmerising energy.
Its stone walls emotionless with its man made memories,
To which all around, goes unnoticed.
Unlike the water which can convey its emotions with ease,
Eroding the shores of countryside while the statue stays unmoved.

The tide retreats for another day, the whispers of ghosts beneath are called.
The light house calls for its recruits for the early morning.
As the boats come in to dock,
It sees its purpose has been fore filled,
Unlike the pure gold essence of the water, its purpose is yet to be found.

---------------------------------------------------
I manged to loose my other poems when my computer hard drive got reformatted.

This is my second poem, the grammer isnt perfect i dont think and i wasnt sure of the spelling of 'Fore filled'

Any comments will be loved and any tips or techniques for the future are welcome.

Time took to write: Around 3 hours
Being 15 i have other committments to attned :P

[This message has been edited by Sole (07-30-2006 11:35 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2006-07-30 12:09 PM

You are only 15?

You've an old soul, Sole.

I don't think it matters, truly, how much "time" it takes to write;

or how long it takes to "tweak" a poem
until you wear it like skin...

only that you do it.

So, as "time" allows, and your other priorities
find their own place...

I look forward to seeing more from you.

Sole
Junior Member

since 2006-07-29

Posts 13
England

2 posted 2006-07-30 12:14 PM

Thanks again the comment are great, i didnt know writing poems could be such fun.

ive just entered both of my poem into:
The Foyle Young Poets of the Year Award 2006

and i hope to get in the top 500 :P the closing date is tomorrow or i would of waited for more comments on this poem. (made it longer just to see if it would change anyones comments)

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