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Open Poetry #38
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sliding eyes
| Open Poetry #38 |
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sliding eyes |
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elisalie16 Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118new jersey |
i guess i forgot what i meant to say i mean, i never could tell you everything that ran through my head so constantly. answering questions? no, it never was my strong suit. asking them, though, that was always yours. the lack of response i always had to offer didn't seem to count towards my three-strikes but my heart kept stopping, and my time ran out. words were sung softly during the night, and spun the heads that belonged to strong hearts into warm dizzied circles and pushed them back onto pillows, or against cold dripping glass that all felt the same in the end and never mattered at the time but proved rough on skin and bone come morning and afternoon. blue eyes in the sunshine twinkled black under the moonlight but held the same glow, and brought blood rushing to cheeks and drew smiles across faces, with bitten red lips. boys that shouldn't have been allowed to hold keys watched fractured girls tip their heads back and crane their necks at angles to reveal muzzled throats that were aching to scream, throbbing with the need to speak. mother's slept soundly while their babies crept out and remained deep in sleep as they climbed back into their beds and never saw, but somehow knew, the lives that were lived during the hours they couldn't keep watch. the idea of 'sleeping with one eye open' may offer caution, but never proves true and children learn this more quickly than most would like to accept. warnings were issued, and threats posed over and over again but eyelashes fluttered themselves up to the stars and voices lowered to hush away secrets that were as truthful and real as the sky we saw falling behind us. cheek to cheek, or teeth into shoulder, knuckle to knuckle, from ears to heart. those stop signs did nothing but speed us up and blinding-bright colors calmed us down. a young tired figure quivvered against a tightly locked door and watched thin whisps of smoke leave through the cracks then fell towards the middle to rest her heavy head. the pretty light eyelids of a sleep-stricken girl lifted momentarily to see the one arm of a boy wrap behind her still body and doting deep eyes that put on a day-to-day act turn his chisled face soft and she sighed very deeply, and reclosed her eyes feeling warm and at peace, happy where she was. [This message has been edited by elisalie16 (07-27-2006 05:48 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Anne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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elisalie16 Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118new jersey |
this one also, is one of my favorite pieces of my writing. i'm really curious/eager to hear comments/opinions on it |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I think this is incredible. There are so many lingering images and thoughts. You write of a time that I remember in my life; your word painting is a master piece. That's what I think. aziza |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
oh, I've seen fluttered eyelashes and a mother never wants to believe her child slips out the door, into whatever the night brings some very good lines in this, and some that are painful to a mother's heart |
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elisalie16 Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118new jersey |
thank you both!!!! midnitesun, out of curiousity, what lines were painful to read as a mother? and aziza, i'm glad my writing is something you enjoy and can relate to! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"mother's slept soundly while their babies crept out and remained deep in sleep as they climbed back into their beds and never saw, but somehow knew, the lives that were lived during the hours they couldn't keep watch. the idea of 'sleeping with one eye open' may offer caution, but never proves true and children learn this more quickly than most would like to accept." Eli, I guess this was the part that seemed painful, that no matter how much a mother cares or watches over, there are things she cannot 'protect' her child from when the child is out on the streets. I didn't understand this until I was a mother. |
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elisalie16 Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118new jersey |
i see. thank you for explaining that midnitesun |
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