Open Poetry #38 |
Sis |
Aroura New Member
since 2006-05-24
Posts 5ohio |
you stood beside me when i was down you helped me up when i fell down you gave me life when i was dead you gave me breath when i couldn't breathe now your heart is breaking i have to watch you cry so tell me what to do to help my sister my life my best friend i love you |
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© Copyright 2006 Tia - All Rights Reserved | |||
Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Welcome to PiPs Tia. This is a very nice poem. I can relate to it very well, as I have two sisters myself. If I can make one minor comment on the first two stanzas. The first two are very similar and could possibly be condensed into one stanza. It’s a little thought I had, no big deal. I look forward to reading more of your beautiful poetry. Cheers - Ed |
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Aroura New Member
since 2006-05-24
Posts 5ohio |
thank you very much i appreciate the advice |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Beautifully expressed sentiment Tia. Welcome to Passions, I hope you enjoy yourself here. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions Tia! Enjoyed your first post. I know you will love it here. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words, |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
welcome this is a nice warm hug for your sis |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Please, check your email for a special greeting...WELCOME hope you enjoy your time here... Greeneyes~ And so it those we live with |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
welcome to Passions! Loved this first poem! |
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picturegramic Member
since 2006-05-16
Posts 112 |
A loving sisterly write. Welcome picturegramic :) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice...reach out...even in times when you can't feel happiness, you can feel love...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions, Tia! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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Aroura New Member
since 2006-05-24
Posts 5ohio |
thanks yall *smile* |
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