Open Poetry #38 |
cohesion |
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
cohesion he left me before we began somehow, all the while I knew he would there were no defeats, no wins strength grew brave he became action pursuing sunday afternoons I became a painter of expressions wound up in my own forgotten battles we were separate thumbprints our centers, principles reflecting the in-between of conscious & unconscious able to bear almost any howl realizing accountability to the flesh my faith demanded difference his was it’s own end that dreams we were true branches of one tree embracing to abstain silence we danced made stones to throw away doing what we had to to recognize self I am better for his time to love my wars became his peace little grievances complained about earthly self-gratifications instantly…running from one life one meaning… right into others his morals were pretty sure he was compelled to take part without me… and i smile still, while viewing his back, walking away perhaps I am the weed, that will someday be nakedness concluded to begin absurd some knowing without knowing |
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© Copyright 2006 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cari07 Junior Member
since 2006-06-28
Posts 33Missouri, US of A |
I love this line: "my wars became his peace" You did a great job of this. I like the sloppy sort of style, it makes the emotion and pain seem more raw and wild. |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
“perhaps I am the weed, that will someday be nakedness concluded to begin absurd some knowing without knowing” Sensitivity is weaved throughout this entire write your conclusion in this verse is the fabric. Shows your strength and your kindness. Very nice write Ms. Lee J. JL Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: |
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shirtless Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359 |
This poem sure got me thinking. The duality we bring to life, this I and the other attitude, is the source of so much turmoil. And seeing the self and the other as part of the same thing is a better mindset: we were true branches of one tree embracing to abstain silence we danced I know this is not the theme of your poem; it's just what your poem brought to me. Thanks PLEASE VISIT MY REGULARLY UPDATED WEB SITE http://www.anthonyarmstrong.zoomshare.com |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Ache with you for the parting, but glad you had the strength to know that it was for the best. My favourite lines are: "able to bear almost any howl" and "my faith demanded difference" and "I am better for his time to love" and "some knowing without knowing" - Owl |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: I imagine these stones launched above the flat surface of calm waters ... dancing joyously for a while, coming to a halt and finally sinking into the abyss. Transformation is bound to come along in everything. Masterfully rendered, dear LeeJ. Love, Margherita |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Yet another most excellent write Lee! Have a safe and happy Fourth! Hugs~Nancy Don't bring me down now, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...he became action pursuing sunday afternoons I became a painter of expressions wound up in my own forgotten battles we were separate thumbprints our centers, principles reflecting the in-between of conscious & unconscious able to bear almost any howl... ~*~ Almost any howl... but the separate thumbprint line got me... individual you are... individual we will all remain. Likeness is a tribute... but individuality... is a triumph. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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