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Open Poetry #38
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On Parting
| Open Poetry #38 |
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On Parting |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA 
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~ On Parting ~ As clear as water in a glass transparent and unnoticed past the buildings and the people I will walk alone forever knowing only you have seen me and that from this moment forward I will not be seen again for you are blind now. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Ned Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Serena Junior Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 47 |
that is certainly one way to look at the parting of ways. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wonderfully creative description of parting, dear Ned. Yes, when love fades, our vision alters and the beloved face fades too ... Love, Margherita |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
I said I would add the backstory later, and so I shall. Though there is much more to the story, I will give the Reader's Digest version here. This poem is not about a "dumping." Nor is it about an untimely death (though that happened later). It is simply about a woman I met in my 20th year who was nearly 30 at the time. She had two wonderful children in school, and it quickly became clear that we were joined at the heart. She saw it first, and patiently waited before revealing that to me. Soon thereafter I was drafted into the Army, and for the next few months we were only able to write letters. I was sent 2,000 miles away and it was six months before she could come for a week's visit. We never actually talked about marriage, though it was on our minds. There were other factors involved, not the least of which were her children, that made our formal union a virtual impossibility. By the time she came to see me, the decision had been made that she would return to her family home in Hawaii, and I knew when I took her to the airport that I would never see her again. What this wonderful woman gave me was a sense of myself that I didn't even know existed before. It changed me in miraculous ways, in addition to touching my heart, and indeed my very soul. She impacted my life more than anyone ever has, except perhaps my own parents. More than anything else she looked right through the outer appearance to the spirit within and reflected that back to me in a way that I for the first time could recognize. In a profoundly meaningful way, she introduced me to me. To this very day, no one has ever seen me so clearly, so completely, so validly, and for that I shall be eternally grateful. I can't imagine who I would be without having known her. I did speak to her on the phone once, a year or so later, when my mother died. They had become quite close, and I thought she'd want to know. Several years later I learned that she had died from complication of diabetes. And that's when I wrote the poem, for then she really was blind. A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh my! This absolutely blew me away! And now with the background story... What an ache..what a beautiful ache. Hugs~Nancy Don't bring me down now, |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
Thanks, Nancy, for recognizing the beauty in the ache. It was, it is, excruciatingly beautiful. I only wish I could have shared this poem with her. In fact, I have never been able to share it with anyone who was actually there. I would have loved that. My only other wish is that I could make it all a lie by being seen again so clearly. A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
this skipbeats the heart but after reading the backstory? a major arrythmia |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
This works beautifully without any backstory at all...but with...it simply aches! We poets have a small advantage, to ease those hurts a little by writing them. Only a little, but it helps, and the reader benefits by a new "chosen memory" that is more vibrantly alive. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
midnitesun: For some reason I don't fathom, in reading your response I realized that only a year or so before I wrote this, something else happened in my life that was a major turning point. I didn't write about it, but the outcome was a decision that no matter what happened to me in my life, I would find a way to turn a profit, if only by learning something so valuable that it made the loss or pain a bargain. I guess this episode was the first chance I got to prove I meant it. I can't believe that after all this time I never put the two together before. Thank you for giggling the tumblers into place so gently, but effectively. ratleader: I am starting to look forward to your comments. They are clear and lucid. I even like your ascii-art logo. Maybe someday I'll get past your screen-name. But probably not today. ;-) A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
This was an inadvertent duplication. I'm at a wifi hotspot, and the primary AP is down. The secondary is extremely weak, and I didn't even realize the first post worked. |
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