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Second chance
| Open Poetry #38 |
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Second chance |
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soulfighter New Member
since 2006-06-24
Posts 4Oakville, Ontario Canada |
Hey all, I just joined today, and just recently started using poetry to express myself. I think it is the way Ive been looking for for many years. Why I only discovered it now, I think I understand. I'll explain. I'm almost 28 now, and 5 years ago I met an incredible gal over the internet and we hit it off right away. She was in love with me the momment we met. I was a little slower. I was a jerk in a lot of ways. i was 100% faithful to her though. All she wanted was to spend every minute with me. I was young. My longest relationship to that point was 3 months. I didnt know how to manage a relationship. She is the most breathtakingly drop dread georgous girl on this planet in my eyes. After nine months of serious dating, I pushed her away and devastated her. Ok im leaving a lot out because I dont want to bore you all, and I know your asking, OK so wheres the freakin poem already, lol. Basically all my life ive moved around so much and never learned to form strong bonds with anyone because I beleive they all go away sooner or later so if you dont get close in the first place, you wont get hurt. Wrong. That I know now, too late. I got in touch with her last February and she was glad to see me because she was at the breaking point of her current relationship with some pot smoking loser who treats her like crap and manipulates her and calls her bad names.. yadda yadda.. Id kept in touch with here over the years, she never mentioned anything about relationships she was in, but I knew inside most of the time wether or not she was in one. She "whited me out" of a lot of her memories, aparently I hurt her so bad, which I always sensed. After I broke it off with her, in the coming months I was kicking myself, and for the last five years Ive thought nothing other than wanting to be with her. This girl is the one for me in my heart. My fear now is that I left it for so long, and she has lost a lot of faith in relationships because shes been cheated on and treated like dirt by other men. The one thing in the world I want is for her to be happy, I want to do everything I can to make that happen, because when she is sad, I am sad. Shes in a bad spot in her life right now, out of work for a while, and going away for the month of july with her mom to BC. The closer we have gotten over the last few months, the more scared she gets. Lately she's been ditching me a lot, so afraid of hurting me now becasue the table have turned. 5 years ago it was her so deep in love, now its me. I guess Im yabbering on here because I dont have many friends to talk to, Im not the type of person who can open up. I try though. Basically, I want to knwo that Im not the only one feeling like this, and why would I harbour such strong feelings for someone I broke up with for 5 long painful years if it wasnt meant to be. Ok ok.. heres the poem.. it cronicles me over the last few years. Part of the poem I am speaking, part of it my heart is speaking. (the end part is the girl coming back) Far too long this heart beats for two, Running out of strength, what is he to do. Was once blindfolded, could not see That second heart touching me. He brushed it aside Later too late, part of him dies. Planets spin, life moves on One more pass around the sun Heart straining, speaking louder, "You're a fool" to myself say softer Someone elses heart deceives hers, My heart pumps molten rivers. Another pass around the sun, My heart wondering like a norseman. Looking for some kind of bandage, "You stupid fool" I get the message. Another heart next to hers, that's ok, No its not, please don't fade away. Around the sun again, I know this route The familiar void , my heart's worn out In a deep pit now, wheres the rope. There it is to short, no hope. Whats' this? Its getting longer. Not longer, getting lower. My heart settles, at last a rest At the end of the rope one last test. "Don't blow it again you fool" My heart can speak angerly cool "This is my other half" he yells The blindfold he expels. I am not the person I thought I was going to be when I was a lil kid... |
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| © Copyright 2006 Sean Brennan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
Soulfighter, Welcome to Pip. I hope she gives you a second chance. What ever happens I want you to know I liked your poem and I thought It a very romantic gesture toward her. Kimberly  |
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soulfighter New Member
since 2006-06-24
Posts 4Oakville, Ontario Canada |
Thank you sincerely I am not the person I thought I was going to be when I was a lil kid... |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
yeah, it happened to me in a way and it didn't work out. And I've heard the phase 'don't ever go back'. But you know, don't listen to me If you still like her then discuss the way you feel. If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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soulfighter New Member
since 2006-06-24
Posts 4Oakville, Ontario Canada |
I have trouble remembering her face sometimes because something is trying to block her out. I dont want to forget her, yet this force in me that wants to protect me wants her to go away. To erase her. It scares me that sometimes I have to stop what I am doing for a few minutes because literally i cannot focus on a sigle feature of her beautiful face. I feel my pulse in every vein in my body when i am away from her. I am not the person I thought I was going to be when I was a lil kid... |
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FiercestCalm Junior Member
since 2006-06-24
Posts 31michigan |
hello from one newbie to another : ) your poem is beautiful and so is this: "I feel my pulse in every vein in my body when i am away from her." you seem to have a poets soul. good luck to you~i hope it works out in the best possible way for you. for one giddy, careless moment, i was almost serene myself. it was a strange sensation, and it soon passed |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Welcome, soulfighter! Your poem renders your heartache very well. At this point you should both be able to choose to test the value of this bond. Love, Margherita |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Welcome to Pip...tell her how you feel ...tell her what you wrote up there, open your heart to her, let her know. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions! Enjoyed your first post. I look forward to reading more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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