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Open Poetry #38
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the process
| Open Poetry #38 |
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the process |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Should you be without a doubt then help yourself to mine... I have legion of despairs unruly restless in the line waiting to be heard as if the miseries would march like dimes an army of futility like spaces inbetween the lines doubled twice for emphasis impatient glancing at the time: "please press 1 to dial 2" and take a number and thank you for your patience while you wait soon, someone will be with you as if I needed company and none of this would be complete without the ringtones driving me cellular insanity pounding louder than my dawgs as feet complain of gravity and 122 is called and it's too hot for pleasantries: and I am number 226-- and though I've had enough of this I wonder who is 666? I blush as people curious turn to see who laughed out loud in organized absurdity waiting for my turn to sigh my story to a clerk and wince when they mark me as "processed" they holler much too loudly: Next! as if the guy who stood behind me didn't know his number or the fact that he stood in line of borderline brutality designed to waste our time as I felt a sense of pride when I was directed down the hall smirking at 338 to stand behind "225" " I have lost my mind," I said-- unaware, that once again, I uttered it out loud... |
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| © Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
OK I had to chuckle out loud. Sorry, I know this is a real pain, but I could see it happening in my mind, and it brought back some realism for me. Excellent!! JL  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
But was it your outdoor voice or the "I think I heard that" voice? Once again, your ability to bring the world to the forefront and in poetic form, yet! remains, to me, an astounding force of natural... you don't push... and you don't allow yourself to be pushed... but it comes through, loud and clear... and then... mirrored. God bless you, gal. I would like to think I had that fortitude... but sometimes you make me wonder... and it is at those moments when I'm proudest of you.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
  to y'both |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Ok, Ser, I wanna hear all about it...tho' I think I got the major points here...lol. *hugs*....jojo |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Giggles and sympathy and empathy. Superbly Serenity-put! - Owl |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Smiling at you...this is wonderful! Patricia |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"I wonder who is 666?" "Let me please introduce myself Im a man of wealth and taste" *smile* I knew a woman a very long time ago who referred to sex as "the procedure." Process or procedure, if it doesn't include dinner and dancing, I guess it all feels the same. I hope today is a better day for you. Yours truly, Son of the Morning Light |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I blush as people curious turn to see who laughed out loud in organized absurdity waiting for my turn to sigh my story" grinning here understanding this too well |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: We have come a long way ... but we still have to pay a price for every conquest and we still are "numbers". Enjoyed this greatly and I can relate, as far as the queue is concerned... and don't we all lose our mind in certain moments! Wonderful job! Love, Margherita |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
The spirit of this write is staggering...just brewing with your signature humor and compassion...and I love that you treat yourself so kindly... Hugs Gal...not easy bein' cheesy! TD |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
I laughed out loud at your opening line, and not just because it was was clever. It reminded me of a gymnist who smack-dab nails their landing after a particularly good routine. Except that you did it at both ends. :-) Kudos! I hope I remember this the next time I go to DMV. A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I see myself standing in line at the Social Security...have I read this before? deja vu... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
Ceinwyn, I like George Carlin's twist on it: vuja de: having the uncanny feeling that none of this has ever happened before. LOL |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You my girl are fabulous! To be able to put pathos and humor into a situation such as this when it is despair and annoyance you had a right to feel. To be able to write it all down so we can feel it along with you. To be able to cover the weariness and disgust you most certainly understandably have the right to feel and cause us to smile and still feel your pain is a true art. I bow to you and salute you, martyjo |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
This is great..reminds me slightly of my 35 minute wait to talk to "customer service" My neck still hurts from holding the cell phone next to my ear. |
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jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
I have days that I have felt the same way but you tread on and try to be posative. I walk the dog and get out of the house. Nice write. Huggs Kimberly |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
in my book baby you are at the front of the line |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Serenity, how is it that people get totally lost in 'the system', but they never, never lose those bloomin' ID numbers? I think there is something to be said for losing one's mind on occasion, as long as it is well timed! ~ Klassy |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I nod my head and chuckle, number 226. Great write, once again. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
lol had to come back to this remembering a time when a friend was the number 13 and they called 12, then 14 and she stomped her feet as they ignored her existence and said but we never offered a number 13! that poor man who was number 14 was bewildered apologetic kind enough or scared enough to step three steps back and give her what she wanted *this isn't me actually, but what happened to a 'friend' who never took NO for an answer to anything except the reaper's demands in that final lineup |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'd love to be able to tell ya'll a funny story about the conception of this one--but actually, I just made it all up.  I was thinking on the psychology of lines, beaurocracy, and how isolated from one another we all seem to become in a circumstance that otherwise would be chaotic. I wasn't trying to fool ya'll--I was just writin'!  All of this spawned by the first two lines, as I pictured how many doubts and fears I had--I just sort of imagined the place that would have to exist to serve them all.And Kacy? It's true that sometimes number 13 is removed from the shuffle--and I have never actually felt the pain of discovery of whether or not they do the same with "666"--butI HAVE thought about it. grins Now there was a time, at the long defunct concert hall called "The Warehouse", wherein they had installed a maze for us misbehaving rock fans to walk through to get to the door after they recognized the dangers of the "stampede" that rock shows were once reknowned for. I recall the first time we encountered that--and how docile the once boisterous crowd became when being forced to walk through that thing. Then somebody started to "moo". Another joined in, and before we knew it, we were all shuffling and mooing our way into the place. Some started putting thier fingers on their heads for horns. Hmm. Perhaps that is where the now infamous "devil" handsign that is a common signature at rock shows all began... I think too much, huh?  Thanks all for reading. and um, "Moo".  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and DING DING DING--I just scrolled up to see that nedj was number THIRTEEN in the reply scroll! You win a kiss! gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Serenity, you are just terrific! I have always wanted to write good fiction, poetic or otherwise. You have innate talent for composing poetry and writing. I so enjoyed the poem and the explanation!  ~ Klassy |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Not only could I envision this scene, but I actually was in part of it yesterday at Ikea of all places! Do you have Ikea there? I was waiting for a table, and they skipped my number then tried to tell MOI I had to wait! I didn't Missed ya even for 3 days  |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Serenity...While reading this I had no idea what it was about, I thought it could be about waiting in line to renew you drivers license or waiting in line for a hair cut or maybe at the doctors office or trying to get something done about your insurance claim. I was totally confussed as how to take it, and then you bring up the warehouse thing. I give up my mind is scrambled just like the eggs at shoney's. But I must say I enyoyed this very much...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ Paul |
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nedj Member
since 2006-06-23
Posts 87Oregon USA |
Who'd a thunk that being 13th would win me such a coveted prize. So much for superstition, eh? :-) And a kiss right back to you Serenity. A poem's just a poet in a word. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Karen, not only does your writing amaze me, make me smile, and make me shake my head...YOU amaze me and make me wish I had one ounce of your spirit and strength lady.  |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
And after reading your "confession", our posts still stand as truth.You are even more imaginative than we knew. Well we thought we knew, but now we know. LOL martyjo |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I think thoughts are the foundation for reality... Lady, this was impressive, but then, you are always impressive, and to boot, what everyone else said before me... You are one extremely unique woman.... hugs |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Yanno? I think I am happiest when I take concepts and write them out as personifications. I've always done this sort of thing in my head. When I was a child, numbers and colors had gender and personality. (for example, red was always female, but for some reason, orange was male) See? I was always weird. Thanks for stopping in to see me. Love to all. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
lolol I was gonna guess mvd...but then I read you made it up, but then...one time at mvd is enough to make you lose your mind and for sure enough to make you mail in your registration for the rest of your life...*looks around* did I just say that out loud? great write lady......as if were that small cherub that sits on your shoulder and keeps you sane |
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Serena Junior Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 47 |
A scene in many of our lives. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Just because I read this again and want others to do it too. One of my favorites. "late" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I forgot about this one, you sneaky lovely lady! Oh martyjo...sometimes my head is a playground, and sometimes it's a prison.  and other times, I just crack myself up... thank you |
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