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Open Poetry #37
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hey everyone, i'd love feedback on this!
| Open Poetry #37 |
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hey everyone, i'd love feedback on this! |
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gypsyheartx Member
since 2006-02-09
Posts 104Istanbul-Turkey/U.S.-Maryland 
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Hey everyone I'm new here, this looks like a fun forum! I was wondering if you guys could tell me what you think about this poem I wrote: Sometimes I see the trees Like tempests of old swaying through the breeze Breaking the baptized sky with their wings of eloquence The corrosive nature of love withers its way through the hearts of willows Hidden; beneath the angst of time itself The branches are sprawled amongst the ground Like ancient ruins Untouched by the melancholy of human hands A place where even the hands of Hercules Stand on the precipice of common misconception. Those who are strong are always wayward; Showing no remorse for the feeble souls of others Here lie the branches of life; Gone to the forlorn wood But not to the eyes of those who truly see; Dead to you But not to me Please let me know, I love to hear what others think! Thanks -Miranda |
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| © Copyright 2006 Miranda - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
It's beautiful Miranda. "Breaking the baptized sky with their wings of eloquence The corrosive nature of love withers its way through the hearts of willows" I love the term "baptized sky." Calls up all sorts of images for me. Welcome. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Welcome to Passions  “The corrosive nature of love withers its way through the hearts of willows” This poem is filled with very intense and vivid imagery but this line stood out more than the rest to me personally, very though provoking and an enjoyable read. I look forward to reading more of your writing. Andrew |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk |
Reminds me of what a famous poem should look like as if it were stolen from some lost forgotten page that has died with age to write like this is beyond most poets its a special gift of how we see the world before us |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Now I want to go walking in the valley...James |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS AMANDA! Very much enjoyed your entrance post. Looking forward to more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ In the midst of winter, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Miranda! I really enjoyed reading this poem....it's very well done. I'm thinking you've been writing for some time. Welcome to Passions!! |
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gypsyheartx Member
since 2006-02-09
Posts 104Istanbul-Turkey/U.S.-Maryland |
Thanks guys, glad to hear my work is appreciated! The literary world can be tough at times... Miranda |
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poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
this poem has got something worth reading, although the capitalization can be misleading in relation to the emphasis on each line. When read fully and within the rhythm of the completed poem. The journey clearly flows merrily toward the end. a good read a poet who cares |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
I think I will very much look forward to reading all of your writes Miranda This poem is excellent. xx farewell the ash-tray girl |
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gypsyheartx Member
since 2006-02-09
Posts 104Istanbul-Turkey/U.S.-Maryland |
Thank you very much. I will definetly play with the capitalization. Good idea |
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gypsyheartx Member
since 2006-02-09
Posts 104Istanbul-Turkey/U.S.-Maryland |
Thank you poettothecars I truly appreciate that. |
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