Bay Street Station (Wanderlust)

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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2006-01-10 09:46 AM

Short, sharp blasts
of mournful greeting
broke the morning air
as the engine chopped and spit
it’s sooty diesel breath,
pulling rocking boxcars nearer
the busy Annapolis station.
The sudden scent
of sea spray vaporized
in constant, cyclic renewal,
entered and filled my senses
in a mad collage of images
that my mind failed to recognize
quickly enough to brace against
and so I was carried, instantly back
to a small camp outside Jacksonville
where I’d spent a few summer nights...
more than a few years ago.

Women were not represented
by any appreciable number
along the rails, so the few
I did encounter I tried to burn
into memory for the many hundred days
which would pass between them.
And should I catch even a distant glimpse
of a beautiful woman,
in delicate line my eyes would trace
the shadow and angle of her cheek,
her neck, her lips, her brow...
coloring in softly, for effect,
for drama, and I would carry her face
then, with me
through countless, desolate miles,
comforted by
the simple recollection
of the tilt of a smile
or longing of misty, brown eyes.

I was barely legal the first time
that I saw Alanna, on the
outskirts of Jacksonville.
Her face backlit, in silhouette,
black against a fire that danced
in tall, crackling, swaying fingers,
wisping heat snapping the night air
as she, a leather bit reflected in
broken, fire-foil glimpses
of a long ago southern night,
moved into my unwary mind,
as the train pulled into
the Bay Street Station.

And for a short time,
I didn’t struggle at all.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2006-01-10 09:50 AM

I will be back (meeting)..

but dang...this is beyond good..

*fk*

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2006-01-10 10:24 AM

The scents, the sounds, the images..Alanna,
were all right there Duncan!
This is fantastic writing...
Very very much enjoyed.
Hugs~Nancy

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2006-01-10 10:32 AM

Your "simple recollections" "filled my senses" and to my face, brought a "tilt of a smile".

A fine example of why I've missed your poetry!

Warm, welcome-back hug,
Linda

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2006-01-10 11:24 AM

Duncan
Like sitting in my rocking chain dreaming a rock-a-baby dream. Well done

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 2006-01-10 11:36 AM

quote:
And for a short time,
I didn’t struggle at all.

One of the things I both enjoy and understand in a direct manner about your poetry is the way you sum up what you've been saying into a final, "clever" punch-line.

a smile, a nod, a grimace, or whatever, it emotes.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2006-01-10 12:52 PM

I want a series now.

Please.

That's right, give her a cookie, and she wants a glass a milk. Give her that--and she wants more cookies.

That's 'cause yer like oreos....UH OH.

You my sweet porch puppy are a fabulous writer.

And I figger you owe me a poem for every Fred pile I've picked up.

*wince* OH LOOK--there's another one now!

FRED!!!!

Now shaddup and tell me about Alana...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

7 posted 2006-01-10 01:48 PM

at Karens reply....

I can't even put into words how much joy it brings me that you are writing again..

I've always been in awe of your talent.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

8 posted 2006-01-10 01:55 PM

agreeing with every comment above me...a wonderful read and write

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member

since 2005-11-12

Posts 643

9 posted 2006-01-10 02:19 PM

this is excellent

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2006-01-10 10:21 PM

No kidding.

(series)

This is like a tease, like the first few paragraphs of a really good novel.

These lines were amazing and I smiled at the end, I loved this Duncan.

the tilt of a smile
or longing of misty, brown eyes.

I saw that, you know?

and this:

Her face backlit, in silhouette,
black against a fire that danced
in tall, crackling, swaying fingers,
wisping heat snapping the night air
as she, a leather bit reflected in
broken, fire-foil glimpses
of a long ago southern night,

I saw her face, you brought me into his mind to her, amazing . . .

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

11 posted 2006-01-10 10:33 PM

Oh I do believe
that Konrad's brother muse
is back.

savoring the seduction
of a truly good story....

"I was barely legal"....

Pup?

You still wearing
your tags?

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

12 posted 2006-01-11 08:58 AM

because that is where it needs to be.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

13 posted 2006-01-11 10:11 AM

Awfully nice, Dunc

and I see folks are queing up for the next installment...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

14 posted 2006-01-11 06:10 PM

pleeeeeease Dunc??!!!!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

15 posted 2006-01-12 09:11 AM

LOL . . . I just nudged Susan for her next installment too!

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

16 posted 2006-01-12 09:51 AM

LMAO....Alright Sue, they're coming, we promise. Just gotta finish up a few lines, here and there, then on to more rail adventures.
Yanno, wouldn't hurt none if'n yer hobo met up with our hobos and told a few tales 'round the campfire himself. Hint, hint, hint...

Thanks everyone for your great responses and for takin' the time to read and comment. I'm lovin' writing these story poems and couldn't ask for a better audience to amuse in the process.

Oh and Ms. Myrtle, every word, scene or phrase has been my pleasure to share with you. Now shaddup and pass me some of that campfire stew...

Midnitesun