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Open Poetry #37

Forever in debt

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

0 posted 2006-01-28 07:47 AM

There is
black paint in my hair
sinkers in my shoes
my step reduced to shuffle

But only sometimes

But oh
If I paid with my pain
for the presence of you
I would do so gladly

My lovely, remember
how we would walk so sedately
trying desperately
to be ladylike?

But not one of us
could resist.
Those autumn leaves
were just
Too Damn Tempting.

now
I know I wouldn't be here
without you.

Oh, who was there?
Pulling my head
from the toilet bowl
and taking me in their arms?

Drying my tears with a "Band Aid"
you called it
Only because you knew
if I couldn't see it then it wasn't there.

The times may have changed
trees have been bare

I know I changed
more than you liked to see
but
Never once, my sweet
did my love.

Katerie
Member

since 2006-01-27

Posts 92
Central New York

1 posted 2006-01-28 08:08 AM

Nice. The stand alone lines are a bit ackward, but that's okay, because the message is good. Keep at it.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2006-01-28 08:35 AM

I walked these lines with you..and love the ending:

Never once, my sweet
did my love.

M

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

3 posted 2006-01-29 01:06 AM

thank you for the comments and advice.
always, cheye xxx

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