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Open Poetry #37
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Cold, Dark, and Lonely
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Cold, Dark, and Lonely |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced 
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Cold, Dark, and Lonely It's cold out here, my friend. The wind's blowing things around. I pull the band out of my hair and let it all fall down. It's dark out here, my friend. I can't see the walkway there. Ill equipped, I have no light and I'm saving the last flare. Gray traces strawberry-blonde and jeans fit a little tighter, Old Age packs a good right hook and I have no strength to fight her. I'm bleeding on the outside now; for you to see it, I can't take it. I never would have made the promise if I thought that I would break it. It's lonely out here, my friend. Maybe it's meant to be. Always remember this I say... I love you more than me. ~ |
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| © Copyright 2006 Dixie Lee Bullington - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
I could not say why, only in reading this one, I was touched in a way that I felt it was worth while adding a response here. I love you more than me. perhaps it was the last line that got me, in a way I believe all goood poems should a poet who cares |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
A brilliant write..truthful and touching..thank you.. Goldenrose ''As the deer pants for steams of water, so my soul pants for you O God'' |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
the thud at the end made my heart heavy  you make us hurt so good |
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sim0riah Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 253Wyoming USA |
Those last 2 verses were so so good The ending I love you more than me Wow.. If only people understood that Rich |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Dixie...Beautiful poem. Shows the caring side of you. Thanks for sharing...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
That last line is a heart breaker. But enjoyed the writing. You Are Loved |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
For you, I'll write it now Dave When the music plays The drums beat And we look down at our feet Drumming our toes indeed But the music never Seems to stop And so we danced Buggars lot Dancing on our feet and toes We dance and dance And no-one knows Nothing changes in ourself We are the same As o'er we were Only opportunity missed To take just That one last kiss That dances for a moment Or three Dances oe'r The world And Me Dave |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
It's difficult to say as I have read a lot of your work and can't remember it all at once, but I think this is the best, in my opinion. However, that last line worries me. You are a good and caring person, and if he loved you more than himself, it would have been a little safer to love him more than yourself. Sorry for offering advice yet again (tell me to shut up if you would like me to, and I will), but I think it would be safer - and kinder and fairer to yourself - to love a man as much, and only as much, as you love yourself. Then you treat yourself as well as you treat him, which then won't allow you to allow you to treat you any worse than he should - at least that will work in theory - but, yes, I know, all that is easier said than done, and the man has to be a good guy in the first place. May you find that very good guy soon that such a kind, caring person as you, deserves. - Owl - Owl |
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Archea Member
since 2006-05-13
Posts 65United States |
amazing! this poem was fantastic. |
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