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Open Poetry #37
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Delta Dream
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Delta Dream |
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Funny Feelin' New Member
since 2005-12-14
Posts 4 |
Moonlight peaking through my window Mississippi moon moving mighty slow dreams of riverboats anchorred off shore the gambling men still going back for more Paddlewheel moans go on and on helping the midnight sing its hollow song I've been long since lost in a delta night never really been there but dreams dont lie when she fades in the mist, I could almost cry Softest blues song floating in the air well past 3 am and everybody's still there the world's shut down, but it's still alive where poker chips fall, and pool sharks thrive Paddlewheel moans go on and on helping the bluesmen sing their hollow songs I've been long since lost in a delta night never really been there but dreams dont lie when she fades in the mist, I could almost cry When the sun came up I lost my ticket for the Delta Dream the only thing in the south known the move upstream I could use some help with the last 4 lines. I dont really like them that much. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for reading. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Funny Feelin' - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I enjoyed getting lost in this delta mist dream of yours. After just one read, I can't offer much in the way of a fix for that ending, but will read it again and think on it. Welcome to Passions! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
welcome to Passions! I love your user name! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Experiencing this is and has been on my list of things to do before I die...  I loved the way you wrote it."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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