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Open Poetry #37

FIVE CARD STUD

shirtless
Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 359

0 posted 2006-04-30 12:07 PM

FIVE CARD STUD

not much of a fighter
so I spent
the night
on a park bench
and used
my bleeding arm
as a pillow

not much of a lover
if I count
the beds
I’ve been to
then the ones
I’ve been to
twice

not much of a husband
for I’ve been
to Paris
by myself
and often eat
alone

not much of a father
when I fear
a hug’s
a species thing

not much of a poker player
unless
I’m bluffing now

shmity72
Junior Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 26
wa usa

1 posted 2006-04-30 12:40 PM

as a former degenerate gambler: I enjoyed it very much.

slaves 'oft love their masters.

GBS

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2006-04-30 08:55 AM

Much enjoyed! Loved the dénoument. However, did you really mean "species" - or perhaps "special"?

- Owl

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2006-04-30 10:45 AM

I must admit that when I first read your username, I thought, "Oh, oh! How did pip's powers that be, let that one get past the radar?!?" lol

I echo

's reply!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2006-04-30 10:58 AM

Leaves the reader with a sense of not knowing.

Well done.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

shirtless
Member

since 2006-04-29

Posts 359

5 posted 2006-04-30 11:01 AM

Hello Owl,
I did mean species. It is meant to convey the idea that the display of affection in a hug is a biological response that is merely an action common to the species. The father in the poem may fear that his love for his children is somehow instinctual rather than personal.
Regards,
Shirtless

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2006-04-30 05:15 PM

cool write...I like it

Debo
Member

since 2006-04-18

Posts 321
Texas U.S.A.

7 posted 2006-05-01 12:26 PM

great play with words and a great write as well I enjoyed reading this one today.

Debo

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

8 posted 2006-05-01 07:12 PM

Wow...!!

Eric

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