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Open Poetry #37
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Green plains
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Green plains |
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backtash123 Junior Member
since 2006-04-22
Posts 46 |
It was a bright and sunny day iin a place called nowhere the tree next to me is full of contours from there greens fill around me and clouds surround over move fast to let the ground know rain will not be here imagining I had a great idea to make it quieter and a better place asking the earth if she heard me and whether its soul exist quiet where I translate forming more there than was learning to look past the clouds the view of the sky the jurors of nature speak but I can't hear its voice I could have prevented it all its another sign of silence and negativity place so whole, it aught be learned that its an exhange agreed the greens are greener nature its own experience slowly moving in the flow finding the moonslight two places, each go today reminders of sand filled beaches palm trees ornate tomorrow another place for experience these roles of nature are so many flowers filled some places though another truth in mystrey this examination more bold bringing back the soul to earth away from the moonlight |
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| © Copyright 2006 backtash123 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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backtash123 Junior Member
since 2006-04-22
Posts 46 |
the greatest poem ever written |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
In reading several of your works, I wanted to compliment your choice of subjects, and applaud the imagery...it is quite fine. If I might make a suggestion to help you, it would be that the read is a bit difficult. There is a rythmn written from the heart, as you poured your gift to the page...the reader tries to follow, but at some points trips...breaking the flow, and disrupting the picture. You might try a different format that lends itself better to the way your thoughts fall... The longer the verse, the more choppy it becomes when changing line. Hope that makes sense to you... For instance: It was a bright and sunny day in a place called nowhere The tree next to me full of contours from there Greens fill in around me, the clouds surround Overhead moves faster To let the ground know Rain will not be here You have much talent to share  TD |
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