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Open Poetry #37
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Sand
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Sand |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams 
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Sand We’re sand, how easy we descend Likely to erode more to dust To slip through fingers of loved ones The tides carry us to destiny The currents take us far away So then there is only water Andwe’re broken pieces adrift In search of the ground we need To be together once again -Juju -<>-~-<>-~-<>- |
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| © Copyright 2006 Juju - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Les Gartner Junior Member
since 2006-04-10
Posts 37MD |
Very well done, Juju. I like the the transitions from the metaphor of sand to that of water and then sublimating the entire poem in its search for stability. You have a powerful way with words. Les |
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poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
Given you have a beautiful way with words Juju, I would like to see you one day writing double the amount of lines in each poem a poet who cares |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I go through phases of writting longer or shorter poems. Last summer I had about double that, but most of the time mine are short. I am a thinker so unless my poem relies heavily on visualization for the message, mine are short. This poem was five lines longer, but they were redundeunt or strayed so they got deleted. Sunshine wants me to edit my poems and make sure they flow before I post them, so that is what I try to do. Longer poems usually take me much more time. like a week or a half. I had one be two weeks. But it is my style. -Juju |
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mariae Member
since 2006-04-24
Posts 54Denmark, Europe |
Your poetry is a reflection of the person you are at the time you write it..... I liked it alot :-) Maria |
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poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
there is nothing wrong with you style, so keep it up. when given 95% or more of my poetry is composed in 5 minutes or less , I'm just lucky. But I did take a week to write one recently just keep on writing, there is so much more to look forward to come a poet who cares |
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backtash123 Junior Member
since 2006-04-22
Posts 46 |
This poem was great! |
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