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Open Poetry #37
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poettothecars
Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093
New Zealand

0 posted 2006-04-23 03:14 AM


5337
Netherlands Star

23 April 2006


For every star that shines so bright
there was a star for you
For every heart, there was a heart for you
For each wave on a beach, there was your smile

Who knew this was to be love
For every sunshine, another day was born
For every night, there was a sky with a moon
Not to be misunderstood but to walk alongside

For every drop of kindness
there was a tear-drop to dry
As if the rain was of everything
in a heartbeat falling from the sky

For in this world, there was all but one
For every number, there were billions more to add
But most of all there was you
to say “I love you” and know this was true


“And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day,
and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.”
Genesis 1: 16 KJV


© 2006 Christopher W Herbert (a New Zealand Poet)

a poet who cares


© Copyright 2006 Christopher W Herbert - All Rights Reserved
Musicmaker1969
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589
Peterborough, Ontario Canada
1 posted 2006-04-23 08:46 AM


Lovely poem.  I am getting to know your style and while it is not mine, I am enjoying it.  It is refreshing and your poems are 99% positive and talk of love.  I'm enjoying your writing immensely.

Sheri Adams

Jesus lives in my heart!  He can in yours too!!!
Sheri Liegh Adams
sheriliegh@sympatico.ca

poettothecars
Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093
New Zealand
2 posted 2006-04-23 08:58 AM


only this poem is not my normal style in my view, it is an example of how to use certain words too many times.

because why the title is "Netherlands Star" related to the source of this poem.

the first line is from the first line of a poem written by a 17 year old Dutch girl

When her poem started several lines with "For every" and in trying to critique her poem, I ended up writing my own. However I use 'For every", twice as many times as she did in her poem

So perhaps in words of 'style' it is not the words you use but how you write the poem

As for my own writing, 90% of my poems on pip, have never ever received a comment on them. So they are either 'too good' or simply 'too bad' or both

It is difficult to see the value of this, when there is no record of how many views a poem gets. And I appear to be winning the 'most uncommented' poems award in the threads on pip  

a poet who cares

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